Stuff Magazine contacted Film Threat a few months back, wanting to talk to the guy who'd reviewed Bumfights: Cause for Concern. It seems that Indecline, the company responsible for Bumfights, had just released its latest opus, Indecline Vol.1 - It's Worse Than You Think. The magazine was doing an article on them, and wanted feedback from someone familiar with their earlier work. That someone happened to be me.
What follows is the sum total of my e-mail exchange with the article's writer (whom I won't name here):
[Stuff] Thanks for getting back. Have you seen McPherson's latest piece "Indecline Vol. 1 It's Worse Than You Think" and if you have, I have a couple of basic questions.
[Pete] Yeah, I've seen it.
[Stuff] The first is, in your mind, does Indecline have any merit? I mean it seems a little deeper, a little more intelligent than Bumfights, and I want to know if there's any serious significance to it.
[Pete] Honestly, I think the Indecline guys were more worried about getting sued than about attaching any social significance to their output.
Does it have merit? As much as "When Animals Attack 4" or "G-String Divas," I guess. The press materials for "Indecline Volume 1" make it sound like they're ripping the lid off the horrors of modern life, when in reality it seems like an excuse to get their rocks off watching skaters beat the shit out of each other and enjoying the spectacle of a paraplegic taking a dump. If that's what turns you on, knock yourself out, but they shouldn't act like it has any more sociological depth than a Guns n' Roses video.
[Stuff] And do you think mainstream media -- and by that I also mean Hollywood, has shied away from these guys, and if so, why?
[Pete] I think there will always be a market for this kind of stuff, but I doubt Hollywood will ever support it in anything but a largely tangential fashion. Moral outrage against the entertainment industry, especially video games and movies (and even magazines like Stuff), is still at a pretty high level. Companies need to pick their battles, and I don't see anybody willing to go to the mat for guys celebrating hidden camera beat-down footage and half-assed anti-corporate vandalism.
[Stuff] I'm getting close to deadline, so forgive me if I'm being a little brief in my questions.
[Pete] No sweat. Let me know if you decide to use any of this.
Shockingly, they didn't decide to use it. I realized, about halfway through the exchange, that questions about Indecline's "merit" were pretty leading, and that I was most likely giving answers in some opposition to what he was looking for.
Sure enough, I checked out the article a few weeks back and none of my comments made it into the finished piece, and it was pretty easy on Indecline. Truthfully, I feel kind of bad for the guy who wrote it, since I don't imagine he gets much of a mandate from Stuff to ask hard-hitting questions which might distract its readers from the airbrushed cleavage on display.
The sad fact is, I'm not very good at self-promotion. This here blog is where I post most of my so-called accomplishments, and I don't feel too bad about that because all of you are here voluntarily. Or should be (if not, please don't tell me what sort of sick degenerate would force someone to read this crap).
For example, when The Wife told me someone in her office mentioned hearing about the Frigid 50 on Mix 96.5 last week, a small part of my brain piped up that I should let the station know that one of the writers was in Houston and would be happy to discuss it. Shit like that. But I didn't, and I don't, because I have yet to find the happy medium between Salinger-esque reclusiveness and Paris Hilton style attention whoring.
I could have tempered my answers somewhat, just to improve my chances of getting a one-line mention in a magazine famous for featuring grade 'C' starlets on its cover. I considered it, fleetingly, just as I've considered giving a couple 5-star reviews to shitty movies in the hopes of getting my name on the release date publicity. I guess that's just not my bag.
Anyway, the magazine might still be on shelves. Issue #73, December 2005, pages 112-116. The article is called "Guerilla Warfare."
And Mila Kunis is on the cover.
Hell, if you appeared in public with a paper bag over your head you could just claim to be Thomas Pynchon and Murray Langston, which would expedite the whole fame process. Probably most people who saw that Simpsons episode assumed that the guy with the bag was the Unknown Comic anyway.
It sonds to me like someone has a little integrity problem. But don't despair, dear Pete, there is a solution.
Come on down to Crazy Dave's Moralistic Relativism Surgery Clinic.
Got a problem screwing over that co-worker for a promotion? We can have the guilt and personal responsibility glands removed on an out patient basis. And we are covered by most HMOs. Hell, they're some of our best customers!
Integrity, well, that is sort of a problem. With little effort, we can chemically tweak your integrity balance with very little follow up. The problem is, it has a tendancy to grow back. But not to worry. Our rationalizing syncophants are on call 24-7 for YOU!
So, Pete, when you are ready for shameless self-promotion, when you are ready to defy logic and the Tao, you know who to call.
"And Mila Kunis is on the cover."
Perverted minds wish to know if she's naked someplace within the magazine?
To reach that middle ground between fame and credibility, you could always wear a paper bag over your head when you appear in public. Pete Vonder Haar would then climb to the heights reached by such giants as Thomas Pynchon and Murray Langston.