Composed at 6:40 this morning...
Revenge is sweet, little one.
You may not know it now, sleeping there under your Pooh blanket, with your arm loosely curled around Elmo, but the piper is about to come due. And the wages will be dear.
The consequences probably escaped your consideration when you woke up at 1:00 this morning, not jolted out of slumber by a nightmare or sudden illness, but simply because you decided that this particular ungodly hour was the perfect time to practice your strangely off-key renditions of the "A-B-C" song and "Pattycake." Who knows what you were thinking to yourself, sitting there in the sepulchral gloom of your bedroom, as you sang and chatted with unseen hosts. I'd have gone in to tell you to be quiet, except I wasn't convined you were really alone...and your spectral guests might not have taken kindly to intrusion. And so you continued. For two hours.
But dawn is breaking now, and as you slumber blissfully (who wouldn't, after such a marathon vocal performance?) you can't possibly know that your parents come from the most obnoxious wake-up stock imaginable. From the Sudden Sheet Removal, to the Pitcher of Ice Water, to air horns and popped balloons, your mother and I have been through it all with our parents and siblings. Believe me, you'll think twice about robbing me of my beauty sleep next time.
Now where are those cymbals?
P.S. The Nightfly is a terrific CD, Donald Fagin at his best.
Was her warbling heard through the baby monitor, or through the house?
On the revenge front, we prefer the get-even-with-embarrassing-photo/video footage-years-later method.
We've got plenty already for when the boy starts bringing his first dates home.
Here's my favorite get-even-with-the-kid story: Our friend Zo caused her father many, many headaches, and many sleepless nights (first crying all night, then being out all night). Then Zo had a little boy, Sidney. And boy, you should've seen the drum set Grandpa gave Sid for his sixth birthday. I bet he's still smiling about that one.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.....like years later when the kid wants a car.