Sweet apes of Shadout Mapes, there's an extended version of Dune?
The story behind the adaptation of Frank Herbert's massive, seminal science fiction novel DUNE is a well-known one, spanning 20 years and involving directors as diverse as Alejandro Jodorowsky and Ridley Scott, before the job fell to David Lynch. DUNE tells a story set far in the future, in the year 10191, where factions war over control of the substance named "spice."
[...]
DUNE is famously an enormous, expensive production that was critically lambasted and ended up a financial flop. In part to recoup their losses, Universal Studio edited a longer edition of the film to be shown on television, but director Lynch disavowed this version. But in subsequent years the film has been reappraised and reappreciated, and the extended version has been coveted by fans worldwide. Both the original and longer cut of the film are available together in DUNE: EXTENDED EDITION.
Oh, frabjous day. More comical voiceovers? More boil lancing on Baron Harkkonen? More jaw-clenching overacting? More Sting? Sign me up.
I'm actually dead serious. One of the most frequently quoted movies of my youth, along with Buckaroon Banzai and Aliens, was Dune. I had special fondness for "Usul no longer needs the Weirding module" and "Might I be known as Paul-Muad'Dib?" My sister, finally succumbing to these fits of geekery, actually got me a Swiss Army knife with "Muad'Dib" engraved on it. Beat that.
On second thought, don't. I have some scary readers.
Actually, I as the one who gave you the Swiss Army Knife. I distinctly remember the raised eyebrows of the sales person when I requested the engraving (or maybe it was a snicker). I also vividly remember you correcting my amateurish spelling of "Muadeeb".
Give me a break, Dad. Do you have any idea how much damage I've inflicted upon my brain cells in the last 20 years?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH yet another reason why I love you! I have been trying to figure out how to post about the new Dune dvd without being stoned by my readers.
Have you really never seen the extended version? Ohhh it's so great.
And how can this BE? For he IS the Kwisatz Haderach!
I've got Ed Naha's The Making of Dune on my shelf. So yeah, gonna need this DVD.
Main difference I recall was "more 5 minute sequences of water dripping"
And how can this BE! For he IS the Kumquat Haagen-Daaz!
I've got Gilbert Ternswallow's The Filing Down of Kyle McLachlan's Chin on the shelf, so I might have to see it. Especially that part where Dean Stockwell's eyebrows deliver the Democrats' rebuttal to the 2006 State of the Union address.
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that eats at the soul."
"They tried and failed?"
"They tried and died."
Yup. I'm WAY in on this one.
With a rapid leap, the woman was hard beside him, pressing something cold into the side of his neck. He started to turn to see what it was." Don't!" she hissed. " The slightest move and you die. I hold against your neck the device we call the abdul-jabbar....the high-handed, long-legged enemy. You've heard of it, perhaps ?"
His head immobile, Pall said " It's called the sky-hook isn't it?"
" A-h-h-h-h, you've been taught well, " she muttered. "Now, let's hope you 'll solve the cube If you rally are the Kumkwat Haagendasz , it shouldn't be much trouble. But one false move and you'll find my abdul-jabbar slam-dunked in your face !"
...
He turned to the Revved-Up Mother. " Have many tried to be the Kumkwat Haagendasz?"
" Some" , she answered after a turbulence of inner mental thought.
" And none've succeeded?"
" None".
" What happened to them ?" Pall asked.
The old woman said " They went machoola".
Machoola, Pall thought. It's a word I've not heard.
" Dead?" Pall asked.
" Worse," she said " Bankrupt. Out of business.
This and other are quotes from National Lampoon's Doon
I am forced to respond:
**************************************
In the dimly lit recreation lounge of the Ducal palace on Giedi Prime, three figures stirred.
"James Carville," the president intoned, "explain to the Veep my plan for the utter destruction of House Bush."
The Chief Strategist smiled thinly. "As you are aware, House Clinton owns the highly profitable pork-mining franchise in Washington. In a calculated move, we shall appear to lose control of the nation via bungling a hotly contested election, and House Bush shall claim the White House. However, we have a traitor within their ranks. When the time is ripe, we shall destroy the Bushes from within and reclaim DeeCee, leaving us richer and more powerful than ever."
"Well, Albert?" Clinton arched an eyebrow at his protege. "Any comments?"
"All I see," grated the Veep, "is a Bush I want to kill!"
***********************************
The Reverend Mother walked with Barbara down the garden path.
"You failed us, Barbara," the grand dame hissed. "You were supposed to have a girl-child. She could be wed to JFK Jr. to create the Kwisatz Haderach -- the one who can go both Conservative and Moderate -- the one who can visualize tax relief we cannot see!"
Barbara sniffed. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Reagan! but I love my husband, and he wanted a son."
Nancy looked at her curiously. "You have *three* sons."
Barbara shrugged. "He didn't care for the first one. Look, here he is now."
The Reverend Mother looked George over curiously, noting his narrow watery eyes, his sagging mouth and his weenie voice. / He is like his father in that, / she thought. "Leave us, Barbara. George, come."
George remained where he was, and Nancy's eyes narrowed. "I see your mother has trained you in the ways of the Sound Bite," she said. "Fear not, George, for we will only test you, to separate the statesmen from the politicos. Many have tried."
"They tried and failed?"
"Worse."
George swallowed. "They tried and died?!"
"No, they had to go on the lecture circuit."
"I won't do it."
Nancy leapt up. "Do not move!" she hissed. "At your neck I hold the Gom Jabbar - The Tiny StickenPoken. Now then, this box shall be your test."
"What is inside it?"
"Pundits. Do not move; if you attempt to turn it off or change the channel, you will die." The Reverend Mother fiddled with the controls,
and the McLaughlin Group came on.
".....proven ability to work with many different sorts of rednecks...."
".....no, no, no!...."
George immediately began to sweat. He recited the litany his mother had taught him: I shall not think, thought is the speech-killer; thought
is the mistake that Nixon made. I will face my ignorance; I will permit it to pass over me and out my mouth, and when it has gone past me I
will turn and read the copy; where the thoughts have gone there will be nothing, and only platitudes will remain.
"....seemingly unable to pronounce words with over four syllables...."
"....apparently once arrested for attempting to steal the nation of Togo...."
George gritted his teeth. His eyeballs felt like they were crisping within his skull. Only his special training prevented him from putting
his fist through the screen.
".....obviously following in the noble tradition of Gerald Ford...."
".....who's your daddy? WHO's your daddy??......"
"AAAA!" The Reverend Mother turned off the box. "Enough. No Kennedy ever withstood so much; I must have wanted you to fail."
"So I'm a statesman?"
"No, you're still a politico." Nancy packed up her box. "But I've got to go; it's time for Daddy-Lumpkin's sponge bath. Toodle-oo!"
George was left staring in her wake as Barbara returned. Her hand went to her heart as she saw him.
/ My son yet lives! / she thought.
/ Dang! /
Ugh. You have soiled my fond recollections of this movie with unclean politics.
'I WILL KILL HIM!!!!"
Watching the state of the union was much like sticking my hand in the pain box with the gom jabbar at my neck. The whole business was an ordeal of extreme pain...but as a human it was necessary to overcome. Mainly so I could make fun of Bubba dubya. I must confess I look forward to watching more desert scapes and dripping water scenes as well.
"It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the juice of sapho my thoughts acquire speed,
My lips acquire stains,
The stains become a warning.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion."
- Mentat mantra, as spoken by Brad Dourif in the film version of Dune. It does not appear in the novel.
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that eats at the soul..."
- Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, as spoken by Peter Puppy in the 1990's Saturday morning cartoon series, Earthworm Jim
We're all completely nuts.
This is why I keep coming back!
The Litany for a Man About to be Married goes like this:
"I must have beer. Beer is the mind-killer. Beer is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my beer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. When the beer has gone there will be nothing. Only 'I will' remains."
(stolen from David Langford)
I know I don't really have a leg to stand on here, but jeez you guys are a bunch of nerds.
I will, of course, be watching this with Josh until I break down and buy my own copy.
Oh, and HWRNMNBSOL should be made a Saint.
This is my opinion, based on thirty-ish or so years of reading SF stories and watching SF shows.
Dune, the novel, sucks. The threshold datum is that it should be against the law to name a character "Atreides" without any allusion whatsoever to myth.
Dune, the movie, sucks. I've never sat through it all, but both David Lynch and Kyle MacLachan have sucked in everything else of theirs I've seen, and there's no indication of anything different here.
Dune, the extended recut movie, sucks. Pointless elliptical crap, now with thirty-eight extra minutes!
Dune, the Sci-Fi Channel mini-series, sucks. I watched the first eight minutes of both of the first two nights and saw no sign that they had thrown the book away and replaced it with something interesting, that they had dispensed with the standard Sci-Fi Channel script for mini-series ("Make it boring"), or that they had hired actors with as much as one-eighth the charisma of the Lynch cast.
At least I can content myself with knowing that, whatever the sins of Dune, it isn't nearly as bad as Children of Dune, in which the hero links himself symbiotically to a raftload of giant larval planaria. As the climax. And of course, nothing sucks as bad as Eyes Wide Shut.
Dune, the {story,novel,film,extended-film,mini-series,nth-sequel}, sucks. More extended ruminations here in the comments.......
| --Posted to Frothing at the Mouth on Feb 3, 2006 1:41 PM:. |
I, personally, will be purcahsing this. Everyone knows and ridicules my love for this film.
But I did not say this. I am not here.