As I was leaving my screening of When a Stranger Calls (capsule review: "horgh") tonight, I was accosted by Lemmy, one of the friendly local studio reps.
Lemmy (I call him Lemmy because no human being on Earth looks less like the Motorhead frontman than this guy) doesn't do the PR thing full time, having moved on to greener pastures in the media world. He still grabs a screening here and there as a favor and to make some easy cash. At a promo screening like this one, for instance, the rep's job essentially consists of making sure all the press/media people have a seat, and to keep others from sneaking into the designated rows. Then, at the end, he/she asks the moviegoers what they thought so he can pass word to the studio. Normally, he asks me what I thought, and I would've been only too happy to make a retching sound for him this evening, but he had a different question for me tonight.
He asked me, "Where are the fake wives?"
My movie passes are good for two people, and while I usually show up alone, I'm occasionally accompanied by a friend who wants to see a particular picture. My default is The Thing That Walks Like a Man, as he is in the unique position to appreciate some of the more pungent efforts I get to sit through. Sometimes, though not frequently, I bring The Wife. She's usually pretty blase about seeing what I get offered, however, which leaves the door wide open to her friends. AKA The Fake Wives.
Y'see, Lemmy pulled me aside at one point about 9 months ago and asked me about the, er, variety of women I attended movies with. I suspect another PR person regaled him with the story of when I saw War of the Worlds with a friend of The Wife's from law school. It was on this occasion - because we both bore easily - that we told this particular person not to let my wife know I had shown up at the movies with another woman, intimating that we were something more than "friends."
Juvenile, yes. And probably apt to come back and bite me on the ass. But as Lemmy informed me a while back, this heightened my notoriety among a certain segment of the PR crowd. Hence, tonight's joke. I had to confess that even my oily wily charms weren't enough to convince anyone to accompany me to tonight's "film."
Though I may see if She Who Shall Not Be Named has the patience to sit through Curious George.
Slightly off topic BUT....
I recently started attending press screenings and they usually have press and then people who have "won" passes to see a movie before it's release date at the screening. Alot of times, the PR people will put posters or promo stuff on the seats for people.
Now, not to sound like a racist prick or anything BUT....do the Asian people where you are like...race into the theater and grab as many promo items as they can? They do it here and it's fricking CRAZY. They will literally bowl you over to get a mini poster. It's really quite comical to watch....as long as I get free stuff too.
They usually give mini posters away at the end of the movie to everyone, if they have them.
Most screenings here are sponsored by local stations, and they hold trivia contests before the movie starts. People act like complete idiots trying to out-Horshack each other for a t-shirt that's a size too small and isn't even related to the movie. It's usually just the radio station's call letters.
Stupid people come in all colors and sizes, and they're all on display at the screenings I attend.
So...does anyone ever ask where your rakishly handsome "down-low man" is?
Or do I need to start attending screenings in drag?
Your post reminds me of the story Bill Veeck used to tell about Satchel Paige (I think this is from Veeck as in Wreck):
All our players... were given personal questionnaires to fill out. Sometimes Satch would write that he was married, other times that he wasn't. Every day, though, he was leaving a ticket at the box office for Mrs. Paige, and every day a different woman was picking it up. At length, we cited this phenomenon to him to try to get his marital status straightened out for our records. "Well," he said, "it's like this. I'm not married, but I'm in great demand."