So, the really surprising (in a Capt. Renault kind of way) news is that Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector is currently residing at #1 on the Internet Movie Database's Bottom 100 list less than a week after its release.
First of all, I hold no stock whatsoever in IMDB's ratings (including their Top 250), and neither should you. It isn't that I have any special objection to The Godfather being rated #1, or that 143,000 people voted for Return of the King to be ahead of
So I don't really have a problem with Larry the Healthy Cable Inspector listed as the Worst Movie Ever. Does it suck? Yeah, probably. Is it one of the 100 worst movies of all time? It wouldn't shock me, but then, I have less of a problem with a one-off film like this, released simply to capitalize on the (hopefully) fleeting fame of the once and future Dan Whitney than I do with hundred million dollar stool samples like Forrest Gump and Pearl Harbor.
Besides, I guarantee you not all of the 1,400+ people (at last count) voting for Larry actually saw it. Sure, it made $7 million at the box office, but those who saw it opening weekened are the kind of people for whom movie criticism might as well be the op-ed page of the San Francisco Chronicle. You could probably count the number of people who consciously shelled out $9 for a ticket and then came home to give it a "1" on IMDB on both hands and one foot.
Besides, I get no end of pleasure at seeing the current #2 movie - Anus Magillicutty - which bills itself on its own DVD cover as "The Worst Movie of All Time," bumped out of the top spot. It was a noble effort fellows, but to paraphrase my grandfather, "There's always someone bigger, smarter, or more offensive aesthetically than you are." I have no doubt the guys at Corporations Unlimited engineered a voting campaign to have Anus perched majestically at #1. And having been forced to sit through it, I'm actually glad "Larry" stole their thunder.
And for the record, this will be most likely be the only area in which I'd ever want that sleeveless hack to succeed.
Not to speak for our host, but it's a really fucking shitty movie, and you're a bad person if you like it.
As I have discussed with our host on numerous occasions, I do not have the most refined entertainment palate. Not that I am an idiot necessarliy, I just tend to have a lower threshold of acceptability than what I would guess the average of the readers of this fine pop-culture commentary. And I digs me some long sentences.
At any rate, I watched a little of Forrest Gump over the weekend. I grant that it is a little dumb, overly sweet and generally improbable, but I don't think that is deserving of the ample hate spewed by those with more sophisticated movie tastes. The directing seems decent. The editting looked OK. The SFX were kinda cute. It just doesn't strike me as that bad.
Is it just that it beat Pulp Fiction?
Well, I can't speak for our host, but I hated Forrest Gump. While it's true that the movie lacked insight and depth and was an absurd, cliche-ridden glorification of a "shrill, pointless decade" (to quote Kent Brockman), that wasn't why I hated it. I hated it because the main character experiences absolutely no growth from beginning to end. "Arc", that basic element of character since before Aristophanes, was completely missing from the title character. And that's why I hated it. That being said, as a movie Forrest Gump was Casablanca compared to the Plan 9 From Outer Space that was Titanic.
I liked Gump enough... after the first time I watched it. It wasn't until the film became such a icnonic pop culture farce that I began to dislike it.
I thought I was alone in my Gump-hatred. Whew!! What a Hollywood piece of crap.
OK, is Anus supposed to be Angus Magillicutty? Is the movie one, long, tireless play on the misspelling of someone's name? I just havta ask.
Well, let me join the Gump-bashing.
The movie's shitty for many, many reasons -- from the cliched conservative reimagining of the '60s through all the empty-headed catchphrases to the film's overall message that if you stray from the beaten path like "d'ar sweet Jennah" you'll catch AIDS and die. And deserve it.
Is it just that it beat Pulp Fiction?
It also beat The Shawshank Redemption.
My feelings towards Gump have been pretty well articulated already. The particular beefs I have include the way the movie exalts mediocrity, sentimentalizes and trivializes historical events (the "dead mic" scene at the anti-war rally comes to mind) and - as OM said vilifies anything remotely related to the counterculture, embodied in Robin Wright Penn's character. The moral of the story? Don't bother educating yourself or thinking critically, you'll be fine as long as you don't stray from your accepted life path.
OK, is Anus supposed to be Angus Magillicutty?
Yes.
Is the movie one, long, tireless play on the misspelling of someone's name?
More or less. Read the linked review if you want more detail.
I get it. If you are going to win best picture, and laud yourself as significant cinema, you'd better have something to say. And it better be something that is going to point society in a better direction. I can respect that. When I see Forrest Gump, I see a cute, implausible story well told. I ascribe to it the same social and thematic significance as say, 24. which is to say, not much.
So, for beating out a film like Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Fiction, I now join you in the hatred of the film.
It bears pointing out, however, if you stray from the beaten path, you WILL get AIDS and die.
And you ARE better off not "educating yourself or thinking critically. You'll be fine as long as you don't stray from your accepted life path."
Yay Bush in '08! Woo-Hoo!
OK, is Anus supposed to be Angus Magillicutty?
Yes.
Um no it's not suppossed to be Angus. It's Anus because he's an asshole.
Is the movie one, long, tireless play on the misspelling of someone's name?
More or less. Read the linked review if you want more detail.
What review? You didn't even watch it if you think his name was Angus.
Um no it's not suppossed to be Angus. It's Anus because he's an asshole.
I admit, I misread her question. I thought she was just asking if I was referring to the movie when talking about Anus. In retrospect, that question makes a lot more sense.
So...no, the guy's name really is Anus. Hilarious. And yes, I did see it, and if you'd read the review, you'd know I actually did watch it. Or maybe I just made up the parts about the old man dancing on the table and the woman fellating bananas.
Twice in as many posts you've thrown a little hate towards Forrest Gump. What Gives?