May 25, 2006
Enter the Muntz
Posted by pete at May 25, 2006 8:50 PM
A federal jury convicted former Enron chiefs Ken Lay on all counts and Jeff Skilling on most counts today, marking the climax of one of the most notorious corporate scandals in U.S. history and nearly ensuring prison time for two of Houston's best-known executives.
The jury heard 16 weeks of testimony and arguments and made its announcement early on its sixth day of deliberations. The eight-woman, four-man panel found Lay guilty of all six counts. They convicted Skilling on 19 of the 28 counts against him.
U.S. District Judge Sim Lake set a sentencing date of Sept. 11. The two men remain free on bond.
I'm late to the party here, but I must admit to being pleasantly surprised that the jury actually brought in guilty verdicts. There are tons of people in this town who know people affected by Enron's implosion, many of whom are still living with the consequences of Kenny Boy and Company's malfeasance. In the words of one of them I spoke with today, "I hope they find the darkest cell there is and they throw away the key."
Skilling was still - predictably - in denial:
When asked whether he could admit that he had broken the law, Skilling replied, "No. I didn't."
"We fought the good fight," Skilling said. "Some things work; some things don't."
Apparently coming across like a pompous ass in your testimony is one that goes in the "things that don't" column.
Lay tried a different approach:
Shortly before 3 p.m., Lay also made a brief statement to the media outside the courthouse: "Despite what happened today, I'm still a very blessed man. At my left is this beautiful lady that's my wife. I have a very warm, loving family. And, most of all I believe God, in fact, is in control and that, indeed God works all things good for all who love the lord. We love our lord, all this will work for good."
Must be another one of those "mysterious ways" things, eh? Or as The Wife put it, "Where's your messiah now?"
To quote Dennis Miller when he used to be mildly humorous (c. 1993):
"Manuel Noriega wants us to belive he's a changed man, says he found Jesus in a Dade County jail cell. I've got news for you, Manny: every other guy in that place are named Jesus."
The convictions won't change the fact that lives were ruined while these scumbags purchased their ivory backscratchers, but it's a small victory for the good guys.
When I think of Ken Lay in real prison, I imagine him reacting much like the token white guy in Dave Chappelle's "Mad" Real World. "Don't you pee standing up...you sit down for a piss."
I think each of Lay and Skilling should be beaten with tube socks containing the others savagely detached genitals.
I hope Ken Lay has a cellmate named Tyrone that likes older men. Then again, I imagine he and Skilling end up dying in a really nice white-collar prison. What a shame.