Lotta sports type things happening in the coming weeks. You've got the Stanley Cup finals, but I have next to no interest in either Edmonton or Hartford Carolina. I enjoyed playing the Whalers in Sega NHL '93, but that's not quite enough to hold my attention. Then you have the NBA championship, which pits Dallas against Miami. As a Houstonian, I am morally obligated to not pull for Dallas, aside from that, I've never been that big of a basketball fan.
Which leaves that other big event everyone's talking about: the World Cup. I follow soccer about as much as the average American, which means I occasionally sit through SportsCenter when it tells me how much it matters to the rest of the world.
But I'm certainy not one who generally derides soccer for the hell of it. The game can be exciting to watch, the players are truly athletic (especially those Eastern Europeans, who have no problem hauling ass up and down the field after smoking a few cigs on the sidelines), and 5.5 billion people can't all be wrong. Sure, the guys on the field flop worse than Bill Laimbeer, but it's all part of the spectacle.
And anything that stands to cost the global economy several billion in lost GDP is pretty amusing from a cultural standpoint.
But who to cheer for? Obviously in the first round I'll be pulling for the U.S., but realistically, I'm going to need a backup team. My options include:
Brazil - The easy choice, as they're the odds-on favorite. However, I'm not really comfortable rooting for soccer's equivalent of the New York Yankees, especially when I have no genetic Latin predisposition to do so.
Though they do some of the most, er, colorful fans.
England - Becks! Rooney (cleared to play)! They should advance easily out of Group B, and they also happen to be the only team I actually have an article of clothing for (a jersey purchased for me by dear old Dad some time in the '90s). Okay, so it's not much of a reason.
I speak English...
Germany - I always end up pulling for these guys once the smoke clears and there are only four teams left. Not that they've been very accomodating in recent years. Nonetheless, I can avoid offending my Teutonic ancestors by cheering for Ballack and company against Costa Rica today.
Iran - You laugh, but anything that keeps their nuclear technicians away from work is a good thing in the long run.
France - I worked with a French guy back when France won the soccer and rugby World Cups in the same year. His insufferable smugness would've been enough to keep me from considering cheering for them, except nobody else in the office gave a shit. And one would be unwise to underestimate Thierry Henry or Zidane.
Italy - I still haven't forgiven them for Roberto Benigni.
Mexico - A Mexico Cup win would result in parts of my neighborhood looking like Rio during Carnivale, which would be a nice change from yuppies walking their whippets up and down my street.
Any of my domestic readers care about any of this?
I only care because I get to be in Europe while this is going on and will get to have the hell beaten out of me by angry Brit hooligans when their squad lose. Fun for the whole family!
"Though they do some of the most, er, colorful fans."
I don't know, Pete. Italy and the US have some pretty colorful fans too.
My money is on the team from Genosha.
As I do for every World Cup, I will be rooting for the Western Hemisphere. Increases my chances that a) my team will be playing any given game (too bad Costa Rica, keep it up Ecuador!) and b) my team may actually win something.
My dad and I had lunch at Two Rows in the Village for the second half of the Germany / Costa Rica game. The place was pretty packed (though I don't go there often enough to know if it was unusually packed or not), and we seemed to be the only ones there rooting for Costa Rica.
A Mexico Cup win would result in parts of my neighborhood looking like Rio during Carnivale, which would be a nice change from yuppies walking their whippets up and down my street.
I think that would prolly be the case in my hometown, too. Which would be exciting. It's been a while since I've been treated to the sound of pistolas being shot into the air at random.
goooooool Latvernia!!!!!
Ah, the World Cup. The one time every four years I can enjoy my jingoism.
The U.S. has a good shot at advancing out of their group, I think, but if you'd like to find someone else to root for, I like the Dutch.
Latvernia!!!!!
Latveria. Turn in your geek pass at the front desk.
oops. it's been a while since I busted out a FF issue. must be the coach talk poppin' out in me.
I second the Dutch! C'mon, they play great, they have five head coaches coaching other teams, their fans are CRAZY, and look at those wacky uniforms! They even got orange socks and shoes this year.
Plus, I have an inexplicable man-crush on Ruud Van Nistelrooy. Truly a handsome man.
I will be rooting for the US, as well, although my biggest hope is a quarter-final appearance where they will be crushed by a far more talented team from a nation that cares a whole helluva lot more than ours does about the win.
Realistically, of course, I predict a Brazil-Germany final again, although I have to give the edge to Germany this time - home-field advantage and everything.
I'd love to see the surprise final, though, where Croatia - who came in 3rd just 8 years ago - sneaks through to face the Netherlands in a rematch of the 1998 consolation game (if memory serves me correctly).