A handful of trailers for some high-profile and/or lowbrow movies debuted this last week. Let's take a look, even though it might take away from valuable time better spent discussing Nicole Kidman's marriage.
I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could find info on the internut about how they're planning on introducing the symbiotic suit, and why Gwen Stacy's just now showing up. For now, I'll simply amuse myself with thoughts of the other ways in which Raimi is going to try and respond to the no-doubt countless e-mails he received from Sony execs asking him to make Spider-Man more "tortured" and "dark" following the success of Batman Begins.
Some suggestions:
1. Peter fails to stop a runaway school bus because he's too engrossed in decorating his MySpace page with shirtless black and white photos of himself.
2. Spider-Man costume no longer includes a mask, because it messes up his bangs. Other additions: a big-ass belt and black Converse All-Stars.
3. While cutting himself to show the world his pain, accidentally(?) disables his web slingers.
4. Refuses to give up front row seats to the Dashboard Confessional concert at Irving Plaza when MJ is kidnapped by the Sandman. Later agonizes about this decision in his journal.
5. Soundtrack consists of nothing but AFI, My Chemical Romance, and Taking Back Sunday. Actually, this was probably going to happen anyway.
6. Converts to straight-edge and pummels anyone who calls him "emo" to within an inch of their life.
Pros:
+ Giant robots
+ Mayhem on the scale of a Toho movie, only with a budget of greater than $75
+ Giant goddamn robots
Cons:
- Michael "Armageddon" Bay
- Michael "Pearl Harbor" Bay
- Guys, it's Michael Bay
This joke has long since gone from "getting old" to "shovefuls of dirt in the face." Had it opened a month ago however, I feel comfortable in saying it would've given The Passion of the Christ a run for its money.
So my husband and his friend and I are in the living room they're talking Superman 3. I say "lets see what The Great Cromulent One thought of it!". They pull up the blog. They pull up the review. This leads to a 25 minute discussion where I only understood the grunts and farts. THIS led to the "You guys aren't even speaking English" talk that led to the finalization of the language classification. Your blog helped lead us to the conclusion that they were speaking "Nerdish", a sub-dialect of "Geek" and thus I shouldn't have expected to understand a word.
So the Venom rumors for SM3 were misplaced? Looks like Sandman and Hobgoblin this time, with a Venom set up for SM4: The Redorkening. I can live with that. I was never much of a Venom fan.
Personally, I'm still waiting for closure on the Dylan Baker as Curt Connors angle. You don't saddle a good actor with a part like that unless you're going to go all the lizardy way.
Tease.