In the interest of full disclosure following the flap between morning TV quote whore Joel Siegel and backpedaling director Kevin Smith, I should mention that I've walked out on two movies I was supposed to review. The first was Destricted, a horrible anthology of sexually-themed shorts I saw at Sundance this year. I left with roughly ten minutes running time to go, mercifully delivered from my ordeal by a call from a fellow Film Threat writer, summoning me to the bar at the Yarrow Hotel. The second time, I lasted through less than 30 minutes of Date Movie, mostly because I had other shit on my mind.
Both times I went ahead and reviewed the films in question. I didn't divulge the fact regarding Destricted, but did with Date Movie. Now it's all out in the open, and I can continue guilt free.
For those unaware of the situation, here are the relevant details:
So last night, at a press screening of “Clerks II” in New York City, “Good Morning America” movie critic Joel Siegel decided he’d had enough of my shenanigans, and walked out of the flick at the forty minute mark. You’d imagine this would bother me, and yet, I’m as delighted by this news as I was with the eight minute standing ovation “Clerks II” received in Cannes.
I mean, it’s Joel Siegel, for Christ’s sake. As Paul Thomas Anderson once said of the man, getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on being “punny” - that is, he likes to add his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay into the reviews he writes/gives.
For “Pirates", he made us all titter with “Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun”.
For Pixar’s lastest, he made us squeal with delight when he wrote “Wheelie Good Time for ‘Cars’”.
[...]
I can’t fault Mr. Siegel for feeling “revolted” (his producer’s description of Joel’s reaction) by our flick; in truth, there is a donkey show in it, and I recognize that brand of whimsy might not be for everybody. Film appreciation is very subjective, and maybe Joel just isn’t into ass-to-mouth conversations.However, I CAN fault him for the manner in which he left the screening.
Apparently, rather than quietly exit, both Joel and his Cum-Catcher (my slang for the fancy kind of mustache he sports) made a big stink about walking out, calling as much attention to himself as possible, and being generally pretty disruptive.
Check this shit out: roughly forty minutes into the flick, when Randal orders up the third act donkey show, Siegel bellowed to his fellow critics "Time to go!" and "This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!"
Pretty weak. I realize Siegel is the movie guy on Good Morning, America and, were I in his shoes, I'd be an insufferable prick as well, but there's no call for that kind of crap. In any of the movies I've exited prematurely (whether I was reviewing them or not) I simply got up and left. Fine, maybe I was muttering under my breath a bit, but that was all.
Then again, it isn't like Siegel could hope to gain some cred back by slagging Clerks II, and Smith has been dealing with critical and fanboy backlash ever since Mallrats. This particular imbroglio couldn't happen at a more opportune time for the release of his new movie.
Nahhhh.
Cardinal rule of movie-going: shut your fucking mouth while the movie’s playing. They even ask you to do so in the pre-show run-up to every flick (”Cell phones and pagers off, no talking during the show”). This guy went beyond talking, even; he was making a spectacle of himself as he left. I’ve now spoken to three folks in attendance last night, and all have said that Siegel WANTED everyone to know how disgusted he was, and that he was leaving. If you want to share your displeasure with everyone, that’s fine, dude; just do it AFTER the movie, not during. Some folks were enjoying themselves. I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like “‘Shark Tale’ Is a Halibut Good Time”; so don’t fuck with my stuff WHILE IT’S STILL SCREENING.
I haven't seen Clerks II, and since it appears there will be as many as three reviews for it on Film Threat this weekend, I'm in no particular hurry to do so. Having said that, Smith should probably milk this for all its worth. Being perpetually late on your comic book dealines and revisiting the rapidly dwindling well of the View Askewniverse won't get you invited to speak on college campuses forever.
Here's the thing about Kevin Smith and the comics. Even though he is egregiously late with books, people (read Joe Quesada) keep offering him work. According to Smith, Quesada was pushing him to take on the recent Moon Knight relaunch, even though at the time Kevin was a year or so late in delivering the next issue of the Spider-man and the Black Cat miniseries. So it appears that should the whole movie business fall through for Kevin, then he can scrabble through life writing the funny books for Marvel.
I just don't have much faith that Kevin Smith is going to turn the corner and get on with what started as a promising career. As much as I love most of his stuff, the whole schtick, clever as it often is, has been tired for a couple movies now. And if Jersey Girl is any indication, maybe it's not the industry that won't let KS change. Maybe it's all he's got.
Heard a radio ad this morning for Clerks II that said the critics were "raving" about the movie. Considering Seigel's actions, I would say "raving" is an accurate descriptor!
I saw it today and you guys (and Pete) should all go see it. It wasn't at all what I expected. it's TOTALLY offensive, but I LOLed alot and even got a little teary eyed. It's a good movie...go see it.
I loved Kevin Smith when he got started. I thought the View Askewinverse was a damn fun place to hang around. But then as time went by, I began realizing that Smith had pretty much shot his wad by Dogma; there weren't even a whole lot of original elements to Chasing Amy, even though I liked it.
Now, 12 years after Clerks, I have come to the conclusion that, much like Quentin Tarantino, Smith is a one trick pony; that trick amazes and astounds the first time you see it, but upon repeated viewings under different names, it simply loses its novelty and becomes trite and cliched.
And that the reason that Smith never resurrected the Superman franchise or did his Green Hornet movie is simply this: he can't.