This is why they call them "killer whales" and not "fluffy boo boo whales":
A killer whale at the Sea World theme park grabbed a trainer by the foot and held him underwater during a show Wednesday.
The trainer escaped and was in good condition later, park officials said.
Kasatka, a 30-year-old killer whale who is a veteran of many performances, grabbed the trainer and pulled him underwater, said Mike Scarpuzzi, head trainer at Sea World.Other trainers were able to persuade the whale to surface, allowing the trainer a breath of air, but enacted emergency procedures in place for such instances, Scarpuzzi said.
The other trainers got a net in the pool, and the trainer, who also has years of experience, was able to calm the whale, swim to the other side of the net and get out of the pool, he said.
We, as a nation, have tragically forgotten the painful lessons taught us by Siegfried and Roy.
Didn't you people see Deep Blue Sea? You can't allow these intelligent carnivores to swim around with impunity. Instead of firing a shotgun into its brain like Thomas Jane's character wanted to do, you guys decided to go the Saffron Burrows route and let the beast live. I think we all know how this ends up. SeaWorld will be collapsing into the ocean any day now.
Sure, it's a bummer and all, but at least it was an isolated…what's that?:
Tourists flock to Fisherman's Wharf for the seafood and the stunning views of San Francisco Bay, but for many visitors, the real stars are the dozens of playful, whiskered sea lions that lounge by the water's edge, gulping down fish.
Now a series of sea-lion attacks on people in recent months has led experts to warn that the animals are not as cute and cuddly as they appear.
"People should understand these animals are out there not to attack people or humans. But they're out there to survive for themselves," said Jim Oswald, a spokesman for the Marine Mammal Center across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco.
In the most frightening of the recent episodes, a rogue sea lion bit 14 swimmers this month and chased 10 more out of the water at San Francisco's Aquatic Park, a sheltered lagoon near the bay. At least one victim suffered puncture wounds.
Some scientists speculate that the animals' aggressive behavior is being caused by eating fish contaminated by toxic algae, or by a shortage of food off the coast. But wildlife experts say even healthy sea lions are best left alone.
I think anything lion-related is best left alone, period.
With the following exceptions:
World Cup Willie - 1966 World Cup Mascot (not, in fact, a nickname for Franz Beckenbauer's penis)
The Great Sphinx
Lyon, France - Much better than that snooty Saint-Etienne
White Lion - Some of the comments for this video are sublime.
Continuing with our theme of "aquatic denizens gone wild," comes the story of a near-finalist for the Darwin Awards:
MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- Florida sheriff's deputies jumped into a dark lake and pulled a naked man from the jaws of an alligator early Wednesday, authorities said.
The man lost his left arm and had a broken right arm and major injuries to his left leg, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said. He was hospitalized in critical condition.
After several people reported hearing screams for help from central Florida's Lake Parker at about 4 a.m. ET, deputies arrived to find the man in the alligator's grasp, the sheriff said.
Four deputies waded through waist-deep mud, wrestled the man free and pulled him about 40 yards back to shore to a waiting ambulance, Judd said.
"He was totally naked," Judd said of the victim, identified as 45-year-old Adrian Apgar.
"He admitted that he'd been smoking crack cocaine. But still, it's a human life," Judd said at a news conference. "Our deputies don't ask questions, they respond and they save people."
This was apparently a misunderstanding, as Apgar merely asked the alligator if he was holding.
They were able to “persuade” the whale to surface? I need to go get some of that professional training. I can’t even “persuade” my husband to go buy me some friend jalapenos. YES I have a very difficult life. But I persevere.