December 20, 2006

Robots in disguise

Posted by pete at December 20, 2006 11:04 PM

2006 was, in my estimation, a pretty lousy year for movies. The overall box office may have been up, and you had the usual handful of critically acclaimed flicks, but as far as blockbuster tentpole releases went, we were left with the stalker-iffic Superman Returns, the Ratner-tastic X-Men: The Last Stand, and the just plain bad Cars. There were new entries in the Pirates of the Caribbean and Mission: Impossible franchises, but overall we spent most of the year idling; waiting for next year's slate. And with Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third, Live Free or Die Hard, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Simpsons Movie, and I Am Legend - to say nothing of the final Pirates movie - waiting in the wings, 2007 looks pretty formidable.

Okay, maybe not I Am Legend.

Anyway, the trailer campaigns have begun with another of next year's Big Honking Movies: The Transformers.

Yes, Michael Bay is responsible for two of the worst movies of the last ten years; and yes, the robots themselves look a little...spiny; and yes, this could be nothing more than a 120-minute commercial for General Motors. But...Optimus Prime, dude.

I must confess, I used to go home from high school every day and watch Transformers. Freaking high school. And I never warmed to the new generation that took over after the 1986 movie ("Rodimus Prime?" Sounds like a porno mathemetician). Plus, with Peter Cullen returning to provide his voice...well, I'm not going to say that Transformers is my most anticipated movie of 2007, except that it is.

Assemble and roll out.

Going home from high school to watch Transformers?!? You always claimed you were going home to “get some.” I guess you meant “get some milk and cookies and watch cartoons.” And I spent my high school years thinking you were cool…

--Posted by basshole on December 21, 2006 8:47 AM

And I spent my high school years thinking you were cool…

You’d be the first.

--Posted by Pete on December 21, 2006 9:39 AM

This always gets me in trouble with the nerd legions, but I’m of the mindset that Transformers: The Movie ruined the series/franchise.

And I didn’t get a positive vibe from the trailer…in fact, it gave me the same sensations as the one for Godzilla. — SHUDDER —

--Posted by The Thing That Walks Like A Man on December 21, 2006 9:43 AM

The only thing funnier than the idea of this movie are the 500+ comments in certain filmgeek fora about a teaser trailer. I SAW A MY LITTLE PONY! RACING STRIPES ON OPTIMUS?!? Maybe Michael Bay equates acting talent with box office poison, as Ewen MacGregor has been replaced with Shia LaBeouf.

--Posted by norbizness on December 21, 2006 9:44 AM

Yeah…who ever basshole is…he would be the first. Not that we all weren’t TRYING to be cool. Merry Christmas to the Wife and She who will Remain Nameless as well as the rest of the clan. I hope you don’t mind my checking in on the blog occasionally…as always its a pleasure to read your writing, if sometimes a bit like ripping off bandaids (Sarcasm still in tact)…ouch. Peace.

--Posted by Sarah on December 21, 2006 10:56 AM

And I didn’t get a positive vibe from the trailer…in fact, it gave me the same sensations as the one for Godzilla.

Ouch.

Maybe Michael Bay equates acting talent with box office poison, as Ewen MacGregor has been replaced with Shia LaBeouf.

Clearly the ineffable charms of Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett are wasted on you. And I agree that the stench of failure should dog LaBeouf’s steps after Constantine, but we can always hope Starscream launches a cluster bomb up his ass.

--Posted by Pete on December 21, 2006 11:10 AM

I see what you mean by spiny, but I don’t think you have a choice.
The exposed surface area of the robot formation is so much greater than the exposed surface area of the vehicle form, your going to end up with disjointed skins (in robot form)making visible the inner workings and whatnot.
Unless they add new skins during transformation. But that would just add uneccesary weight.
And trust me, if you’re humanity’s last hope against the Decepticons, you don’t want to be carrying extra weight.

--Posted by peenman on December 21, 2006 11:13 AM

Dude, if you’re alluding to the idea that ARMAGEDDON is one of the worst movies in the last 10 years, we’re throwing down at SXSW…

--Posted by don on December 21, 2006 11:56 PM

I’m not “alluding” the the idea that Armageddon was one of the worst movies of the last ten years, I’m shouting it from the rooftops.

Sorry for the confusion.

--Posted by Pete on December 22, 2006 12:32 AM

Was I the only one who really, really wanted that trailer, somewhere, to have Peter Cullen saying “Transform, and roll out?” I don’t know why. But I wanted that badly, even if it didn’t mesh with whatever vibe it’s going for or got.

The realist in me doesn’t expect much.

The kid in me, however, who sat through three viewings of Transformers the Movie, says that Starscream better be a badass in this movie, or Michael Bay’s gonna have a lot more to account for than oil-riggers going into space. A shitty Starscream is right on the verge of blasphemy.

--Posted by Tommy on December 26, 2006 6:16 PM



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