January 6, 2007
Observation on a bleary Saturday morning
Posted by pete at January 6, 2007 10:03 AMCaptain Feathersword is a shitty pirate.
Fine, years of watching your acting career devolve into performing in front of toddlers has given your eyes a nice glint of insanity, and it's possible you're laughing all the way to the bank (though I suspect Greg or Murray held the purse strings pretty tight), but otherwise, just put on a skirt and get it over with.
Sigh. You people without kids have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
Let’s see…
- He’s wearing his wedding ring. “Nae, lassies, the auld Captain likes to carouse as much as the next sea-dog, but the Missus won’t want any o’ me victims thinkin’ they’ve got a future life w’ me. Arr.”
- He’s wearing the most boring lace cuffs and collar I’ve seen (lace needs to be triangular to be masculine)
- The Pirate RealDoll Face is not as sexy as he thinks.
- And the sword of feathers. Yes.’Errrr. Missus featherstone keeps me real sword in a jar at home, but I got me feather!’
Poor guy. Can’t even cut his own throat.
Best episode, er post … ever! “Ahoy! Me Hearties!” has a whole new meaning with Ol’ Cap’n Feathersword, eh? Yipes…. “Cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti.” C’mon sing along, you know the words!
Nope. All I can see is a very sexually confused pirate.
2. He’s wearing the most boring lace cuffs and collar I’ve seen (lace needs to be triangular to be masculine) — Michael
Ain’t that the truth.
Nothing screams “masculinity” like triangular lace, especially as it applies to cuffs and/or collars.
I may not have to suffer through the purple dinosaur or this pathetic excuse for a pirate but I did just recently learn how much a tiny little bottle of chicken and chicken gravy baby food reeks. Took two days to get the stench off my hands. Does that count? I swear - no wonder babies throw their food on the walls.
Nothing screams “masculinity” like triangular lace, especially as it applies to cuffs and/or collars.
What can I say? It’s not a look for everyone, but the cuffs do match the collar.
Those of us with older kids don’t know what you’re talking about either. But I know where you’re coming from, because I can remember a time when I used to say to people “Spongebob Squarepants is actually pretty funny” and they’d look at me like I was nuts before asking “What the HELL is a square sponge pants bob?”
I think I can do without the pirate though.
Sorry, Pete, can’t empathize. That crap gets no play in my house. Zaboomafoo, Sesame Street, and NFL football are all the kids get to watch. But to be honest, they aren’t all that interested in TV to begin with, which is refreshingly odd for 2-1/2 year olds.
At least it’s not the Doodlebops.
That’s the one that I really can’t stand.
For the most part, I find the Wiggles to be painless, although that is one jive-ass pirate.
We don’t do the Wiggles here (I actually had to Google Captain Feathersword to find out that he’s a Wiggle), but Harrison LOVES SpongeBob. Harry doesn’t know where his own ears are, but if I don’t put “Puppob?” on in the morning while he eats his waffles, watch the fuck out.
I always suspected Captain Feathersword was the one that got passed around amongst the Wiggles like new meat on cell block A. Being a friendly ghost is one thing, being a friendly pirate pretty much means you’re swishier than The Cop, The Indian and and the Construction Worker combined. And you’re right about the glint of insanity in his eyes. He’s pretty much lost his will to live at this point.