I hate people.
Spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon in Houston traffic. Ten or fifteen minutes of which were spent behind a guy sporting a pair of these dangling from his Ford F-150:
I won't go into the fuckheadedness inherent in not only purchasing, but taking the time to install, a pair of "truck balls." More obnoxious than the "peeing Calvin," more grotesque than the suction cup Garfield, "truck balls" are one of the more glaring signs that civilization has teetered too far over the cliff to be pulled back.
Anyway, when I finally passed the douchebag in question, I noticed he was black. A black guy...driving a pickup with a pair of truck balls. A pair of Caucasian truck balls.
I'd weep for the future if I still had any hope for it.
I'm thinking about getting a pair of latex ovaries to hang from the rear fender of my car.
My favorite misapplication of truck balls is this. I earnestly hope the message he was trying to send was "I'm a gay cowboy!" because that's sure what I got out of it.
Personally, I'm in favor of the peeing Calvin/latex truck balls-type of vehicle accessory. They constantly validate my feelings of genetic and intellectual superiority. Or, maybe I'm just a condescending, elitist prick. Even so, at least I'm a condescedning, elistist prick with taste enough to hang detached testicles (replica or otherwise) on my vehicle. Because you kinda need to be a Reaver to pull off that look.
I really hate those things. I want to take some hedge clippers and just cut them off whenever I see a truck with one of those parked near me.
Denny's on to something - it's nice to be able to easily identify the total assholes.
In my little world, I know exactly one person who owns a pair of balls [not the attached kind] - the woman at work I refer to as Damp Panties Girl. She has a pair on her keychain. I want to smack her in the nose with them.
Every time I see truck balls, I think that they're pretty small balls given the relative size of the truck. I feel bad for the guy driving around with balls exposed that are so small.
It's actually a good metaphor for the drivers -- dickless.
Wow. I have been away from Texas for a while. I hadn't seen anything remotely like that yet. I hope they don't become popular up this way...
Perhaps he bought the truck used.
Or perhaps he's a hunter.