February 20, 2007
Bumper crop
Posted by pete at February 20, 2007 12:18 AMI spend a lot of time on the road these days, so here's a related quiz. Of the following crappy bumper/rear windshield stickers I saw Monday, which is the most obnoxious and why?
1.
2.
3. The last entry was simply 8" high letters on the rear window of some guy's pick-up that spelled out "Panty Dropper," implying that the generic looking F-150 in question causes women to step out of their undergarments. I laughed so hard at the balding jagoff driving I thought he was going to follow me home and...I don't know...drop his panties or something.
As obnoxious as the Lord’s Gym sticker is, they at least are helping out young people. The “Panty Dropper” guy probably is single-handedly (pun intended) supporting the barely-legal porn industry, and is just ludicrous. The Boycott France sticker just makes me shake my head and want to grab a big ole bag of American Freedom Fries from the fast food chain with the most “Support Our Troops, Support the War” stickers plastered on the drive-thru window. I mean really, what has France ever done to us? Does the Statue of Liberty mean nothing anymore?
The answer is (4) A bit Gothic stenciling of the phrase “CAUGHT YA LOOKIN’” on my friend Sean’s low-rider Mazda pick up truck in 1990.
#2 reminds me of the train wreck that is Rob Leifeld’s The Goddessy, wherein a buffed-out Christ beats the crap out of Zeus and other Greek Gods for mouthing off to him after the crucifixion.
Yeah, I gotta agree with Curmudgeon all the way here. The culture of fear and divisiveness propogated by ignorance and intolerance scares the shit out of me every single day. The Bill O’Reillys and others that demand unquestioning flag-waving scare me a whole lot more than one-dimensional room-temperature-IQ Bible-waving zealots any day. Most of them are harmless sheep.
Ah, I can feel the righteousness swelling in my thoat. I think I’m going to head to a mall and correct people’s grammar.
No, the answer is (5): A white Gothic script across the tinted front window of a pimped-out, gold-trimmed, white Honda Civic. It read: “Sssshhhh …. I Know.”
Dude, I just saw a post from Wil Wheaton that said he just received spam with the subject line, “I laughed so hard at the balding jagoff driving I thought he was going to follow me home and.”
Weird.
Dude, I just saw a post from Wil Wheaton that said he just received spam with the subject line, “I laughed so hard at the balding jagoff driving I thought he was going to follow me home and.”
I better register a TypeKey account and get over there. I don’t want Wesley Crusher gunning for my ass.
I really like this, “The culture of fear and divisiveness propogated by ignorance and intolerance scares the shit out of me every single day.”…Nice
The Boycott France one. Listen, I hate snooty foreigners with hygiene issues as much as the next guy, but:
1) The whole boycott France movement came out of that Stalinesque right wing element that argued basically that there was only one way to think or believe about foreign policy — theirs — and that anyone who committed the heresy of disagreeing with Bush or the neocons was unpatriotic if they were American, or deserving of boycotts if they were not. The entire movement represents a Thought Police mentality that goes beyond annoyance and into being dangerous.
2) Historical hindsight proves that the French concerns were right, that all the Bush/neocon critics were right, that Bush was lying all along, and that the entire misadventure in Iraq has been an exercise in incompetence, betrayal, deception and graft. Keeping that sticker on his vehicle demonstrates a stubborn clinging to that pathetic mindset, support for continuing to dump American troops into the meat grinder, and an inability to grasp or accept reality.
3) The whole subhead — “The Spin Stops Here” — indicates that the jackass watches Bill O’Reilly, which is a crime that should carry the death sentence on 12 systems.
The Lord’s Gym one doesn’t bother me so much; while I don’t like overt displays of religiousness, this one at least attempted (“attempted” being the key word) to do so with humor or parody. While I don’t like the source, I can at least respect the effort or the reduced self-righteousness of it.
As for the panty dropper guy, his so wonderfully set him up to be the object of derision and unintended self-parody that he can’t be taken seriously; in fact, it sets him up to be the butt of his own joke. You have to love rednecks who invite derision with irony like that.