A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

"I just want to watch Honk If You're Horny in peace!"

Part of the problem in suffering from long-term memory issues while writing a blog for (*sigh*) almost four years is that I sometimes...okay, most of the time...get myself all motivated to write about something, only to realize I've written about it already. On several occasions.

Case in point, there was yet another toddler at yet another horror movie (The Reaping) last night. The mother-of-the-year candidate this time chose to lurk around the corner in that little hallway leading to the exit so she could continue watching while her child assumedly couldn't see the disturbing images of chldren strung up in a tomb or Idris Elba stooping to play the loyal black sidekick after a great run as Stringer Bell in The Wire. Problem was, the kid continued doing things kid's tend to do, like cry, babble, cry, and screech at nothing in particular. And everyone in the theater could hear him.

I've already beaten this subject to death. Twice. So I decided I'm going to join the fun. Wednesday night is the Grindhouse screening here. The Wife has a meeting, so she won't be able to pick She Who Shall Not Be Named up until right before the movie starts. In the meantime, I'm going to bring my daughter into the theater, possibly wrapped in an oversized Reservoir Dogs t-shirt. I'll loudly proclaim to anyone listening that she loves Takashi Miike and how much she's looking forward to Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving" trailer.

Of course, nobody will care. More to the point, no one will say anything, so used are they to assholes bringing their spawn to inappropriate movies. In the face of this depressing realization and apropos of nothing, here's a flowchart from Mrs. Basshole, inspired by that stupid German "Hammerzeit" image I posted and forgotten lo these many months:

What a fabulous decade it was.