May 1, 2007
The passing of a titan
Posted by pete at May 1, 2007 5:21 PMA titan in the office supply business, that is. Rest assured everyone in the Midstate Accountz Reeceevin' posse is pouring their latte on the curb today:
POYNETTE, WI--Foul play is suspected in the death of an accounts receivable supervisor for a regional office-supply company, sheriff's deputies reported Tuesday.
Herbert F. Kornfeld, 34, was an alleged accounting gang leader considered by law enforcement to be a key player in a series of ongoing office worker turf wars. He was found dead Monday morning in the third-floor copy room of Midstate Office Supply, his employer of 12 years.
"We believe the victim was assaulted after hours Friday by an unknown individual or individuals," a Columbia County sheriff's departmaent spokesman said. "Though autopsy results are still pending, we believe the victim suffered fatal head trauma after his face was immobilized against the glass of a photocopier and repeatedly struck with the machine's cover."
Midstate Office Supply vice-president Howard Dinwiddie is expected this week to name accounts receivable assistant Irving Weinbaum, 23, as Kornfeld's successor.
Weinbaum, eh? Don't think this is the last we'll hear of this suspicious crime, especially considering Kornfeld's own comments from less than a week ago:
Everythang fallin' 2 shit, know what I'm sayin'? Check it out: Not only tha A.P. out foe blood, now tha new breed o' A.R. punks be fuckin' up everythang they ol' school foefatherz worked foe. They ain't got no respect foe tha traditions o' tha past. They just clockpunchin' hos afta tha office chedda. Some-a them be comin' outta bidness college thinkin' they can round up 2 tha nearest dolla. No lie. Wack-ass wannabes.
Ain't nobody moe wack than Irving Weinbaum, Gary's replacement. I'd fire his ass wit' a quickness, but tha comptrolla Gerald Luckenbill say he one-a tha few A.R. peeps not doin' time right now an' we needs him. Hell, I don't needs him.
Go gently, H-Dog.
1973 - 2007
Irving Wienbaum yo’ betta watch yo’ back, cause us at Chem-Tech gots mad respect for H-Dog. If’n you be the sucka that puched H-Dogs ticket…man am we gonna bust you up…you gonna know what it feels like to have NaOH poured into youse. THAT”S RIGHT WACK BEYOCH I’S SAID SOME SODIUM HYDROXIDE ALL UP IN YOUR HIZZIT!!!!!
G-Chem-$
Ah knew somethin’ wack, ill, and all-around buggin’ was afoot afta readin’ tha H-Dog’s editorial last week. Ah figgered it was them Accounts Payabo bitchez creepin’ wit’ evil on they minds…but, dayum. It always who ya least expect.
In tribute to Tha Funky Numba-Cruncha, ah poured a foety o’ liquid paypa on tha curb. May yo’ mentor CPA-ONE greet ya in tha aftalife, an’ we’ll mourn ya ‘til we join ya, Herbert.
Word is bond.