I have learned, through no fault of my own, that K-Y has a new "personal lubricant" out. It goes by the name of "Intrigue," retails for twice what the normal brand lists for, and has quite the ad campaign behind it. For example, here's how they describe the bottle:
The curves, at once sensual and ergonomically satisfying, reach a crescendo in a cap that has been artfully crafted to ease dispense of the contents. In the glow of candlelight, the white metallic sheen makes the bottle luminous.
That's the second reference to "metallic sheen," by the way.
The best part comes from the commercial, which sadly isn't available online. It shows a couple in various stages of undress and intimacy as a clock ticks off the hours at the bottom of the screen. Once we get to 3 AM, a single line reads, "Like there's no tomorrow."
While there's little ambiguity to what they're suggesting we should do like there's no tomorrow, I find it amusing to insert other verbs in there. "Spoon," for example, or "tie flies."
I know my husband worries a lot that his …um… assistive viscous products… are sold in ergonomic containers. I mean c’mon. If he gets carpel tunnel who’s he gonna sue??