Curiously, no grim-faced CNN anchors are interrupting coverage of Lindsay Lohan's stint in rehab to warn us of the skyrocketing rate of stingray attacks:
The Galveston Beach Patrol reported 14 stingray injuries over the weekend, the largest number of painful wounds reported this summer.
The Beach Patrol reported 10 injuries Sunday and four injuries Saturday, caused by bathers stepping on stingrays and causing them to lash out defensively with their toxic-tipped spiny tails, Beach Patrol Chief Peter Davis said Monday.
Davis said beachgoers can easily avoid a painful sting by shuffling through the water when they see blue flags on the beach warning of dangerous marine life.
See, that's why I avoid beaches with lifeguards. I don't need some stupid flag to warn me about the teeming swarms of toothy, ill-tempered monsters lurking just out of sight.
Which, on the Texas Gulf Coast, means about one foot underwater.
My experience with stingrays, however, is limited. When I was 17, my family went to Aruba for a week. I was wading a little ways offshore and stepped on what felt like a rubber mat. Something struck me in the calf, and then the 'mat' shot out from under my foot. I could see a ray swimming away, and I figure the thing either missed with the tail or its spine had broken off.
This other time in high school, my friend Mark got a '66 Stingray for his birthday. It was pretty sweet, but I only rode it in a few times.
Wasn’t Mark’s Stingray more like a ‘62?
Once at Galveston in the mid-80s, my friend Ted was walking through the surf and yelled. When he raised his foot out of the water, a small fish, thrashing wildly, was stuck by a spiny fin embedded in his big toe. And that’s not even one of the top ten reasons I hate that city. For beaches, Surfside is much better.
When you enter the water, you enter the food chain….
I’m honored to be referenced in such fine literature. Basshole, the Impala was from 1962. The Stingray is correctly identified at ‘66.
My wife and kids were in Port A a couple weeks ago and sure enough, the stingrays had moved into shallower water due to the August heat. The water was, shock of shocks, actually clear enough that you could see the rays swiming.
As far as the Stingray goes, its in my garage in Austin currently. Awaiting time to put it back on the road.
Peace.
The inadequacy of our national television news media is astonishing.