September 10, 2007
"I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit! It's probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George "Goober" Lindsey."
Posted by pete at September 10, 2007 11:45 PMOld age is a horrible thing.
Friday night I had a dream; one of those intricately realized dreams that seemed to run the course of my sleep cycle in vivid detail. In it, I spent the equivalent of almost an entire day (in dream time) with T.J. Hooker-era Heather Locklear. And what did we do? We talked. I can't recall the subject of every conversation, but topics included home improvement(?) and how to break into television.
She's not exactly my type, but still...
The next day, still smarting from my inability to sleep-score, I met up with some guys at a local sports bar to watch college football. I got there a little before noon, and - not relishing the thought of hailing a taxi at 4 PM - elected to drink coffee at the outset. Here's the vessel it was served in:
That's a soup bowl (replete with soup spoon for stirring). This isn't some pissant little sports bar, mind. The SRO in Northwest Mall encompasses over 18.000 square feet and features 100 TVs. I find it hard to believe they weren't able to find a single coffee cup for we few, we happy few, who might like to get our java on before switching to the Miller Lite. Regardless, I had four of them.
In retrospect, it's no wonder the alcohol I switched to around 4 PM had no effect: the caffeine probably killed it.
So, don’t order Irish Coffee at the sports bar? This seems unsurprising. Aren’t portmanteau places usually bad at one or both of the two things they try to be? Just as Hooters serves bad food and isn’t really a strip club, a sports bar isn’t going to be all that good a bar and may or may not be good at being a bigger substitute for your living room.