December 17, 2007
Talk to me, Goose
Posted by pete at December 17, 2007 9:56 PMEntry #2 about the Vegas trip is coming up, as soon as I resurrect my laptop from the bowels of failed power supply hell. While I'm borrowing someone else's, here's a story to put you in the mood for holiday gluttony:
For decades, a few simple slices of turkey were all it needed. But now even the traditional Christmas dinner has been supersized.
Multi-bird roasts, where different types of bird are stuffed inside a larger one, have become the thing to carve this year - and the more birds involved the better.
One of the top-sellers is the Waitrose four-bird roast: guinea fowl, duck and turkey breast stuffed inside a goose. Demand has soared 50 per cent this year - even though each roast costs an eyewatering £200.
[...]
The surge in popularity may have something to do with TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's creation of a ten-bird roast on his show two years ago.He stuffed an 18lb turkey with a goose, duck, mallard, guinea fowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon and woodcock - producing a remarkable Russian doll-like dish.
But now his effort, inspired by recipes dating from Tudor times, has been dwarfed by a behemoth containing no fewer than 48 birds of 12 different species.
The species in question:
1. Turkey, 2. Goose, 3. Barbary duck, 4. Guinea fowl, 5. Mallard, 6. Poussin, 7. Quail, 8. Partridge, 9. Pigeon squab, 10. Pheasant, 11. Chicken, 12. Aylesbury duck
And some specs:
This massive roast, the proud creation of Devon farmer Anne Petch, weighs almost four stone (more than most airlines' baggage allowance), costs £665, and has enough meat to serve 125 people.
It contains about 50,000 calories and takes more than eight hours to cook in an industrial duck sized oven.
The spacing on that last sentence was screwed up, so I can't tell if that means the oven is sized for something called an "industrial duck," or if a regular duck-sized oven wasn't macho enough.
In any event, we have ostrich farms in Texas, right? I think you know what needs to be done.
Re-reading a lot of T. McGee lately — couldn’t begin to tell you why, except I just got a hankering for some — and came across this, which I thought might amuse you:
“It is to be hoped that on some planet far beyond our galaxy a race of sentient armadillos is busy scooping out Texans and selling them at roadside stands, possibly as Lister bags.”
Heh. I love Meyer.
Right. And then you can shove the whole works into a manatee, to ensure you’re getting enough seafood in your diet.
At Thanksgiving, I bought both a Turducken and a Turporken for The Meeting Of The Inlaws.
The former was because I always wanted to try one; the latter was simply because it sounded so filthy.
They were both delicious…the forbidden delights of shoving animals into each other for consumption are grand, indeed!
Red vs. Blue (http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/) did the ultimate turducken back in ‘04. It went:
hummingbird
sparrow
cornish hen
chicken
duck
turkey
bigger turkey
penguin
peacock
eagle
albatross
emu
ostrich
leopard
pterodactyl
Boeing 747
Which comes out as something like a sevenfortysevodactyleoparostremubatroglecockguinturkturduckenensparhum.
Late to the party. I heard a radio commercial some weeks ago that featured the made-up Turduckenoosetrich. A chicken inside a duck inside a turkey inside a goose inside an ostrich. It was then supposed to be deep fried. This was suggested as a joke, but apparently they didn’t realize just how serious it is.
Emu is available at Whole Foods, but only sliced emu…