One of the things the Discovery Channel's new show Verminators has going for it is the way it allows the network to finally show humans wasting other animals. Sure, Deadliest Catch brings us the killing fields of the king crab, and Bear Grylls always ends up eating some invertebrate, but you know DC has been dying to get its murder on ever since the first Shark Week.
"There's nothing more humane?"
"I could drown him."
The lamentations of Geralyn, the animal lover in Episode 4, who somehow can't reconcile her leaving food lying around for the neighborhood animals with the giant attic rat keeping her up nights. I credit the producers for the classic move of showing her in close-up while amplifying the sounds of J.D. shooting the thing in the background.
But like all-time favorite Cheaters, the real purpose of the show is to make us feel better about ourselves. 'Hey,' you think, 'I may be and uptight asshole who's no closer to realizing my dreams of writing professionally in spite of the looming specter of my 40th birthday, but at least I don't have an inch of bedbugs coating my floor.'
Naturally, it's loaded with the same ominous, self-important score and the military-style graphics that plague all these programs, but I suppose it'll enter the semi-regular rotation of shows I'll watch after SportsCenter when I can't find anything good on HBO but want to stay up to have one more beer.
It's a pretty prestigious rotation.
On a side note, I think I figured out why Frank Caliendo's show is doomed to fail. Certainly, he does a fine John Madden impersonation (which merely comprises 50% of his stand-up act), and his George W. Bush is decent, but if you're a...somewhat heavy impressionist who doesn't bear a passing resemblance to a dozen celebrities, your voice talents better be top notch.
Unfortunately, that isn't the case with Caliendo. Honestly, I didn't know who his Al Pacino or Donald Trump were supposed to be until I thought about it. And even then, all that came to me was that he was playing a fat Al Pacino.
Indeed, when Frank did his impression of Charles Barkley, I thought: damn, that is a fine, fine impression of an aging Fat Albert who has chosen the graceful approach to hair loss.
Geralyn the animal lover was lame, just like this blog.
Sick burn.
Indeed, when Frank did his impression of Charles Barkley, I thought: damn, that is a fine, fine impression of an aging Fat Albert who has chosen the graceful approach to hair loss.
I have a hard time telling his Barkley from his Dr. Phil.
The only thing I’m more sick of than Frank Caliendo is everything being fricking “green.” Oh, and Hillary Clinton.
Geralyn the animal lover was lame, just like this blog.
Feed the rats and yet she can’t stand them in her roof? An animal lover would love to have rats in the roof.
She brought it on herself and can’t realize the world is cruel. Animals eat other animals alive, and she lives in a dream world where no animals suffer.
Idiot.