I'm gratified to report that, according to the fine folks at Mossimo Apparel, I no longer wear an XL swimsuit. I was all set to buy one at Target the weekend before we left on vacation, having had the old one for going on ten years, but something seemed a little...off when I took an extra large pair off the rack.
The Wife: That thing is huge.
Me: Is it? [holds suit up to waist] Jesus, I could fit a couple of naked...wives in here with me.
TW: Go for the large.
Me: You think? Gee, this is all so sudden...
TW: For Christ's sake. [throws size L into cart]
Me: Should I buy a few new pairs of shoes as well?
My glee was relatively short-lived, for after arriving in Galveston and plunging into the surf (the better to protect She Who Shall Not Be Named from the hordes of sharks lurking just offshore) I realized this particular clothing manufacturer must be having a laugh at our expense. The suit slipped off my waist so often and so...revealingly I realized I could've gotten away with a medium, which is patently ridiculous.
Anyone who's ever met me knows I'm not a small person. I did learn from my recent physical that I've actually lost about ten pounds in the last ten years (at this rate I'll be down to my so-called "ideal" weight around 2039), no big deal. But thanks to America's apparel industry, which is cleverly misleading our rapidly inflating population by adjusting sizes downward, I'll be proudly sporting an 'S' by my 50th birthday.
Time for another McGriddle.
I noticed that this week, with my new slacks.
It’s not just limited to these seemingly arbitrary S,M,L,XL sizes.
My new N” waist Dockers are a LOT looser than my old N” waist Dockers.
As technical kind of guy, if you’re going to put a number to it, I would prefer that number refer to something tangible, in this case girth.
Instead, I think they base their stated waist sizes on “what the guy buying these pants thinks he is”.
Incidentally, these pants also contain 2% spandex. Another bad indication of our nation’s health.