VONDER HAAR v. SWSNBN, 1 APCB 5150 (2008)
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1 APCB 5150 (Plisskin)
PETE VONDER HAAR
v.
SHE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED
LET it be known that Pete Vonder Haar has sued to disown his daughter, referred heretofore as SWSNBN, for her lack of respect and reverence for the traditions of the Vonder Haar family. Specifically, their long-standing love of pirates.
As evidence, he submits the following three items:
1. On June 20, SWSNBN did willfully and with malice aforethought press the 'Power' button on the family Blu-ray player during the climactic battle between Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones. Restoring the movie to its former state required several minutes and refreshing of beverages.
2. SWSNBN has repeatedly shown resistance to watch the Backyardigans episodes "Pirate Treasure" or "Pirate Camp," even when her father is trying to get work done. Her appreciation for the "Viking Voyage" episode mitigates this somewhat.
3. Consorting with known ninjas. Or at least sitting quietly through significant portions of several Sho Kosugi movies.
Ms. SWSNBN will be represented in these proceedings by her mother, who has her own motions filed against the complainant.
I will be happy to act as co-counsel for SWSNBN…pro bono! :)
All I can say is wait until she’s a teenager!!
Uh oh, you’re in Texas. Quick: hit the “change of venue” button!