August 9, 2008

Call me when they get to gunpowder

Posted by pete at August 9, 2008 12:17 AM

As The Wife said about an hour into last night's opening ceremonies, "Can we just surrender now and get it over with?"

It's amazing what a dictatorship with no compunction about displacing its own citizenry and pouring $40 billion in profits gained from exploitation and mercenary trade practices can accomplish, and the kickoff to the XXIX Olympiad was a fine example of the kind of spectacle autocracies are capable of.

A 500 foot LED screen in the floor...a scrim running the circumference of the stadium with movies playing on it...a cast of - literally - tens of thousands (and apparently every non-aborted female) to act out China's history (yet curiously no references to Mao)...you can't deny it was impressive. Mind-numbing, really. The stadium even has a fan whose sole purpose is to blow the flags with appropriate...majesticness.

Other random thoughts...

+ "And Bob, the children are smiling because they were told their parents would be executed if they didn't."
+ I like how the Marshall Islands uniform looks like my usual work clothes.
+ "Chinese Taipei." Nice.
+ Good shot of Mr. and Mrs. President checking their watches.
+ Man, some of those Jamaicans/Romanians/Bulgarians are pretty hot.
+ Yao Ming should've put that kid on his shoulders.
+ Jacques Rogge is one dynamic speaker.
+ Are people still serious about trying to get Houston to host this? You could fill the Sea of Japan with all the sweat being excreted in the "Bird's Nest." And it's only 85 degrees there.
+ Yeah, they're never going to top that lighting ceremony unless a squadron of naked women actually set a guy on fire and catapult him into the cauldron.

Somewhere in London, the members of the 2012 planning committee are soiling their collective knickers. Congrats China, you ceremony really appealed to the German in me.

In addition to remarking how one Caribbean country’s uniforms looked like my everyday attire, The Woman and I had the EXACT same exchange regarding our impending doom.

We welcome our overlords from the East.

(Praise Zumia she speaks Chinese.)

--Posted by The Thing That Walks Like A Man on August 9, 2008 9:42 AM

I liked the watch-checking shots. But you really can’t ignore the wide-open crotch look that Bush was displaying somewhat earlier. A truly impressive display of presidential might & power (obscured only by the head directly in front of him). I was disappointed that we didn’t see the pursed lips of disapproval that you know he had when Iran was announced.

Also, magesticness does sound awkward, how about majesticity?


--Posted by Davi on August 9, 2008 2:47 PM

The “Bird’s Nest” looks like a toilet bowl.

That is all.

--Posted by Rory L. Aronsky on August 10, 2008 1:00 AM

“…they’re never going to top that lighting ceremony unless a squadron of naked women actually set a guy on fire and catapult him into the cauldron.”

Somewhere now in a high-rise conference room this exact idea is being pitched. When it happens, you should get credit. Brilliant.

--Posted by TheDave on August 10, 2008 11:05 AM



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