There was a commercial on TV tonight for some microwavable quiche...things. The theme was "having happy hour at home," and the commercial concludes with the young husband and wife sitting down to a plate of appetizers and a couple glasses of wine. Predictably, I'm unable to keep my mouth shut.
Me: Treat your wife like a random bar skank, just like the first night you met.
The Wife: I'm ignoring you.
Me: Experience the thrill of withholding your HIV infection from her all over again.
The Wife: Jesus, the shit that goes through your head.
I never got to describe the end of the scenario, where all his friends are hiding in the closet and under the bed while they get it on.
And by the way, I thought she said she was ignoring you. Psssh, women. ;)
And you know that it’s that exact head which attracted her to you. I’ll leave you to fill in the dirty joke.