January 12, 2009
Golden Bozos
Posted by pete at January 12, 2009 12:54 AMI considered liveblogging last night's Golden Globes ceremony, but we had company over and besides, my hands are woefully incapable of keeping pace with the nigh unending stream of assholery thought up during the annual drunken wank-a-rama. This year the whole thing seemed designed solely to allow the Hollywood Foreign Press to cruelly dangle the possibility of a Best Picture Oscar in front of the well-meaning but otherwise SOL folks behind Slumdog Millionaire.
And I say this as someone who liked Slumdog Millionaire.
In any event, it was apparent early on that everyone involved - from the camera folk to the celebrities themselves - were taking the "Globes" part of the ceremony especially seriously. Stars ranging from Eva Longoria to Eva Mendes were impressively crammed into their bodices, and I haven't seen that much Salma Hayek on display since Desperado.
Some other thoughts...
+ As a Bruce fan, I was happy to see "The Wrestler" win best song. And I'm sure NBC was pleased to get some free publicity for the upcoming E Street Band performance at the Super Bowl.
+ The Jonas Brothers were apparently there to snag the 30-something white female demographic, going by comments made by The Wife and our other female guest.
+ Keifer Sutherland's resigned expression best represented the futility felt by anybody nominated in any category that John Adams was up for.
+ Ricky Gervais wins the internet ceremony. I like how everyone laughed at his Holocaust movie joke yet the same crowd was tres offended by Sacha Baron Cohen's Madonna-Guy Ritchie zinger. I guess "personal assistant" barbs hit a little close to home.
+ If I ever get to interview Tom Hanks, my first two questions will be: "Tom, will there be a sequel to Mazes and Monsters?" and "How do you respond to critics - specifically me - who feel the quality of your performances significantly deteriorated following Bachelor Party and Joe vs. the Volcano?"
+ I know William L. Petersen. William L. Petersen was great in To Live and Die in L.A. and Manhunter and even C.S.I. Laurence Fishburne, you are no William L. Petersen. And get a tailor.
+ As someone baffled by the pre-release praise lavished on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I am perversely satisfied that it failed to win a goddamned thing. Don't believe the hype.
+ Anne Hathaway is losing too much weight, which is probably endangering that Devil Wears Prada sequel.
+ People that should have been played off the stage: Sally Hawkins (though I thought her performance in Happy Go-Lucky was good, even if the movie wasn't my cup of tean), Steven Spielberg (as if that would ever happen), and Colin Farrell (you were a lot more entertaining as a drunk, and Gleeson should've won)
+ People that shouldn't have: Mickey Rourke. Sean Penn can probably sit out the Oscars as well.
+ While I appreciate the...talents of Megan Fox and Isla Fisher, my old ass would be happy with Laura Linney, Marisa Tomei, or Emma Thompson any day.
+ And then there's Mad Men's Christina Hendricks. Ay chihuahua:
She what happens after you turn 40…your tas in women dramtically improves.
That could be true for some of the young too. I’d gladly take Laura Linney or Marisa Tomei. With Emma Thompson, I’d gladly learn from her wit at length.
While I appreciate the…talents of Megan Fox and Isla Fisher, my old ass would be happy with Laura Linney, Marisa Tomei, or Emma Thompson any day.
She what happens after you turn 40…your tas in women dramtically improves. Laura Linney is major babe. I never watch that crappy James Lipton show, but she’s on tonight on Bravo and I’m tempted to DVR it.