So our friend Tanya is in an Oscar contest where the tiebreaker is the question of who's hotter: Anne Hathaway or Kate Winslet. And I think we can all agree the answer is: Viola Davis.
On with the show (newest entries listed first)...
10:57 - As for the previews:
Sherlock Holmes - meh
The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 - How fucking dare you?
Public Enemies - Could be cool
The Soloist - Looks like a Kirk Lazarus movie from Tropic Thunder
Up - 2010 Best Animated Film
Fame - Whatever...
Terminator: Salvation - Crap
Amelia - Swank's next Best Actress nom
Inglourious Basterds - QT has been writing this for 14 years. Can it really be any good?
Monsters vs. Aliens - 2010 Best Animated Film...no, wait.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - They made movies out of these?
Angels and Demons - Ewan McGregor enters the Cathedral of Suck.
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - Didn't the first Ice Age have a human kid in it? Kirk Cameron must be producing.
State of Play - Russell Crowe is: the unkempt journalist; Ben Affleck is: the philandering Congressman; together they try to invalidate the opposition's legitimate claim that a guy who lies to his wife might not be the honest statesman he presents himself to be.
10:43 - Didn't see the Penn win coming. You Commie, homo-loving sons-of-guns have no respect for dead chihuahuas.
10:42 - Kingsley talking about Randy "The Ram" Robinson sounds like a guy describing his own post-Uwe Boll career.
10:39 - DeNiro gets the line of the night. That almost makes up for Righteous Kill.
Except it doesn't, really.
10:33 - 6th time's a charm.
10:27 - Shirley MacLaine paraphrased: "Anne Hathaway, because you're not afraid to get naked." Kate Winslet gets naked more though, so she's going to win.
But Melissa Leo ought to.
10:20 - Danny, have you heard about the Smoker's Toothpaste?
10:13 - Damn, Paul Newman...
10:02 - I finally figured it out: giving award to all these non-English speakers means the speeches will be that much shorter. Well played, Sid Ganis
9:56 - What was Peter Gabriel's complaint again? That they were going to cut his WALL^E song down to a 65-second snippet? That's verboten but giving it to Party of Five and AT&T somehow bolsters your artistic integrity? Fuck off.
9:41 - Damn, Eddie Murphy looks good. That said, they're going to screw up their land speed record with all these tributes.
And while I've never liked Jerry Lewis' movies, he absolutely deserve the kudos for the MD Telethon.
9:34 - I take back my comments at...earlier; they're blowing through the ceremony tonight. This is the best work Will Smith has had since Ali.
9:27 - I don't normally care about Visual Effects, but fuck a Benjamin Button. Iron Man had a "visual effect" in practically every goddamn scene.
9:25 - The action montage is the only place you'll seen Rambo in the Oscars. More's the pity.
9:22 - When did Tom Cruise get funny? That's annoying.
9:18 - First Martin, now Bill Maher mocking our religious institutions. I blame Obama.
9:14 - Man on Wire, bet on it.
9:07 - Look at the audience being extra careful not to look unserious during the Heath Ledger award.
9:03 - I heartily endorse this Beyonce-in-a-skimpy-outfit musical number and/or product.
8:56 - And I'm as sick of Apatow as anyone, but the Pineapple Kaminski thing was pretty damn funny.
8:55 - Okay, back. Did they really do the Joaquin Phoenix gag the night after they did the same thing on the Independent Spirit Awards? Really?
8:27 - I think the "Romance" montage is as good a time as any to take a break...
8:18 - I guess Benjamin Button has to win something.
8:10 - I'm pretty sure it's not racist if a Japanese guy says "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto."
8:04 - And they did. How...unsatisfying.
8:03 - Jennifer Aniston? Cut to Brad and Angelina! Cut to Brad and Angelina!
8:02 - Annnnnd 3 for 3. Thrill as I pick Heath Ledger for Best Supporting Actor.
7:57 - Since I acknowledged the odds favored Cruz, I'm maintaining that I'm 2 for 2.
7:54 - The fact that Steve Martin can make fun of Scientology at the Oscars and still make crap like Pink Panther 2 is, in a word, annoying.
7:50 - 20 minutes in and we're through one frigging award. Opening another bottle.
7:45 - If we're going to spend five minutes on each nominaton this is going to last until 2 AM. Just give it to Penelope Cruz.
7:43 - Nice sack, Tilda.
7:38 - Just kidding. I can't stay mad at you, Hugh.
7:37 - I never thought I'd be looking back fondly on the Rob Lowe-Snow White opening number.
7:31 - Look at the lustful gleam in every woman's eyes. I think I could try gay for Hugh Jackman.
Because it's a choice, you know.
7:27 - Robin Roberts has her tickets...to the GUN SHOW
7:24 - I agree with Tim Gunn and Mickey Rourke: I like Marisa Tomei in either state of dressedness.
I don’t get all bunged up about most remakes. Really. But Pelham is one of the best movies of the 1970s in addition to being one of the best NYC movies. Throwing Travolta and master of incoherence Tony Scott - who’s also redoing The Warriors which, combined with this, ensures my undying hatred - into the mix just guarantees yet another classic movie remake that will be so far removed from the original it might as well be another movie.
Not that anyone under the age of 30 will have seen the original in the first place.
Pelham 1-2-3 is my favorite New York movie where New York doesn’t get destroyed.
I have the original on our Netflix list, because Ginger hasn’t seen it.
I have little hope for the remake.