I don't care that various movie blogs are reporting it.
I don't care that Entertainment Weekly is reporting it.
I don't care that the goddamned New York Times is reporting it.
Yahweh himself could assume the form of Shemp Howard, descend from on high and whack me in the face with a pipe wrench while permamently giving me a bowl haircut and I'd still refuse to believe all these reports about a Three Stooges movie (directed by the fucking Farrelly Brothers) are anything more than a cruel and elaborate April Fool's Day hoax:
According to Variety, Sean Penn -- coming off his best actor Oscar win -- is set to play Larry; Jim Carrey is in negotiations to play Curly; and Benicio Del Toro is being considered to play Moe. In development, first at Columbia, then at Warner Bros., the project is now at MGM, which says that production will begin in early fall for a 2010 release.
The immediate reaction in Hollywood was, well, a big yawn. MGM keeps making big splashy announcements about upcoming projects, but it's hard to find anyone in town who believes that the studio has the money to make a credible number of movies. Most insiders suspect that this was yet another carefully crafted announcement story aimed at persuading Wall Street that MGM could somehow put together a slate of films with real movie stars.
[...]
As for the casting, Penn has said for years that he'd like to star in what Variety would call a "laugher," having been in comedy jail ever since he costarred with Robert De Niro in the monumentally un-funny 1989 comedy "We're No Angels." If Carrey is actually in negotiations to play Curly (Variety says the actor has already made plans to gain 40 pounds to belly-up to Curly's ample girth), it would be a coup for the actor, who is currently off most studios' comedy A-lists, having fallen out of favor because of shaky box-office performances in recent years, which has led studio execs to believe that comedy audiences are more interested in Judd Apatow-style relationship comedies than Carrey-style high jinks. But in his defense, his recent movie "Yes Man" posted strong numbers both here and overseas.
Some ideas are so catastrophically awful that it is the responsibility of saner minds to step in and put an stop to them before serious damage is done. When they don't, you get things like Goober Grape and Operation Barbarossa. If this story is real, someone at MGM needs to intervene before it becomes necessary to land Marines in Los Angeles.
Just the possibility that this might happen makes us all a little less human. It simply MUST BE an early April Fool. I have to believe that. I need to believe that. Hell, I’d rather they make a third Flintstones…..
I will not pay to see this movie. That said, I am constantly amazed at the crap the average American will pay to see.