A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

Snow job

Normally I'd be happy about Hollywood tackling a comic book property not associated with Marvel or DC or containing the suffix "-Man" in the title, especially when the work in question is by one of my favorite writers: Greg Rucka.

However, having seen the trailers for the upcoming Whiteout, it's obvious Warner Bros. is trying to market the movie as something it ain't. First, watch the teaser. It's not the official trailer, but it'll do:

We'll leave aside the not at all gratuitous shower scene and go straight to lines like "Nature is not the only thing to fear" and "We hit something big," which would seem to indicate something...inhuman lurking in the frigid shadows and waiting for the right moment to lunge forth and snatch our unsuspecting Marshal.

Of course, if you've actually read the book, you know Whiteout isn't a monster movie at all (or a remake of The Thing, which The Wife suggested the producers were trying to suggest here), but simply a murder mystery set in the world's most inhospitable climate. And even though - judging by the preview and some of the IMDb credits - they may be incorporating elements of Rucka's sequel, Melt, there still aren't any nonhuman bad guys. It's a very good story, but I can't help thinking people are going to be disappointed when the comparatively mundane plot is revealed.

A few other things. To start with, I like Kate Beckinsdale just fine, but she's hardly how Steve Lieber and Rucka originally envisioned the character of Carrie Stetko:

Beckinsdale is a little softer around the ages:

Of course, they were originally considering Reese Witherspoon for the role. But if they stay faithful to the plot it should be a decent flick. A trailer fixated on crashing planes and blizzard-y destruction doesn't fill me with optimism, however.

But probably my biggest complaint has nothing to do with casting the main character, and everything to do with eliminating the one that - to me - proved most interesting. In the movie, Gabriel Macht plays a "U.N. operative" named Robert Pryce. Arguably the most interesting character in the book was a British agent named Lily Sharpe. It was never officially confirmed (and Rucka has actually backpedaled on the subject), but speculation was pretty heavy that Sharpe was actually another Rucka character named Tara Chace, who has her own series of comics and novels (going by the title Queen & Country).

I realize it changes almost nothing about the plot to make the character male, except to inject some elements of previously nonexistent romantic tension and to bow to focus group bullshit that says "America won't watch a movie with two female leads." It's just annoying, and I get annoyed pretty easily these days.