A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

Back to the crapola

Does anybody know who I need to talk to at the FX network to get the season premiere of Rescue Me pushed up a few weeks?

I'm not asking because I'm particularly interested in seeing hack joke thief Denis Leary enjoy even more fame and success while Bill Hicks continues to moulder in the ground, or because I have any curiosity about who's going to rape whom this season, or even because it's a particularly good show. Of all the FX original series, I'd place Rescue Me somewhere below It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and just above Dirt.

But barely.

No, I want the premiere advanced so I can watch the season finale of The Shield (the quality of which Leary could only hope to mimic by disinterring Hick's corpse and using his skull for some arcane voudoun ritual) in fucking peace. The unending promos for the new season of Rescue Me - airing literally every commercial break - have made it necessary for me to either record episodes or pause them for at least 20 minutes so I can subsequently fast forward the commercials, something I really don't want to be forced to do for the final episode.

Oh, they're great commercials, don't get me wrong. The most popular one is Tommy driving a fire truck that he himself is also clinging to the back of. There's also one with Tommy in a fight on a deserted street...with himself. See, 'cause it's all about duality and torment within, which I guess wouldn't be apparent to us without getting beaten over the head with it every eight minutes.

If nothing else, throw me a bone and let Vic Mackey make a guest appearance and curb stomp Tommy Gavin once and for all.

HB 1919 - Passed!

I just left She Who Shall Not Be Named groggily wondering why Daddy was hugging her to the point of crushing her rib cage. The reason? It appears HB 1919 passed with Sen. Lucio's amendment intact. But let's back up a bit.

The Wife and I attended a couple of parties today with a sense of fatalism about the legislation in question. After all, no bills get passed on the very last day of the session. Especially those requiring a 4/5 majority to suspend House rules. I think we'd resigned ourselves to the worst.

So we get home from a birthday party around 3:30 this afternoon and see this:

Just found out that because of the historical events of last night, bills still have a wing and a prayer to be passed out of the House. The last day of the session is usually reserved for technical corrections, but this time, extreme events have changed the rules a bit!

Exhortations were made to call Craddick and our Reps to support HB 1919. I dutifully did so, but balked at posting another update. You guys have been great, but I didn't think making yet another plea on Memorial Day was going to have much impact. Honestly, I figured I'd done what I could, and it was mostly out of my hands.

We spent the evening playing trivia with friends while the kids watched The Lion King, then came home around 9:30. We put SWSNBN to bed, cleaned the house up a little, and checked e-mail.

Much to our surprise - and after reports that there weren't enough votes to bring it to the fall and against all apparent odds - HB 1919 passed the House with Sen. Lucio's amendment intact. Here's one of the many e-mails I received this evening:

I am watching the live stream of the House....Vicki Truitt of Keller ask to RECONSIDER the suspension of the rules...it was voted in favor...then the committee report on 1919 was APPROVED 105 to 32 from the House floor!!!! So, it was reconsidered for rule suspension, heard, and approved!

In other words, from Sen Lucio's office:

Congratulations!

Due to the hard work of all of you, Senator Lucio, Representative Davis, Representative Todd Smith, Representative Vicki Truitt, Senator Van De Putte, Representative Garcia, Representative Rose...and so many more...privately insured kids ages 3-5 with autism will now receive treatment. Thank you all so very much, this is a very special day and we couldn't have done it without all of your support!

I'm still in something of a state of disbelief. Sen Lucio has indicated they have confirmation that Gov. Perry will support the bill with the amendments intact. As always, I'll believe it when I see it, but if anyone wanted to give Perry a gentle shove in the right direction, he can be reached at (800) 252-9600, or you can click here to e-mail him.

For the first time since this whole thing started, I have actual hope. We owe every one of you who called, e-mailed, or shook your fist in anger a debt of thanks for this. If we can get this put into law, it means our daughter would be able to continue her treatment and Mom and Dad might not have to sell the house to make that happen.

Thank you - all of you - who took the time to contact your rep and let them know how important this legislation was. I'm emotionally drained right now, but believe me when I say I would bear all of your children were I physically capable.

UPDATE: Fox 26 is apparently running a story about the new law tonight (Tuesday, 5/29) at 9 PM, in case anybody (in the Houston viewing area) is interested.

HB 1919 - "Woke up in a great mood. Don't know what the hell happened."

Sage words from Mike Damone.

For those keeping score, HB 1919 has been sent to conference committee. The House refused the Senate amendments, requested the committee, and appointed their five conferees. According to the process, the Senate now appoints five from their chamber, two of whom must be members of the Senate committee from which the bill was reported (State Affairs).

The good news is that the Senate committee includes HB 1919's sponsor and co-sponsor (Sens. Leticia Van de Putte and Rodney Ellis). Getting either of them on the conference committee would be a big help.

The bad news, well, the session's almost over, and the bill now faces an uphill climb to get enrolled:

After the committee has met and reached an agreement, a report is submitted to both chambers for approval or disapproval. The report must be approved by at least three conferees from each chamber and must contain the text of the bill as approved by the conference committee, a side-by-side analysis comparing the text of the compromise bill to both the house and the senate versions, and the signatures of those members of the conference committee who approved the report. A conference committee report is not subject to amendment but must be accepted or rejected in its entirety.

Should the proposed compromise remain unacceptable to either chamber, it may be returned to the same conference committee for further deliberation, with or without specific instructions, or the appointment of a new conference committee may be requested. Failure of the conference committee to reach agreement kills the measure. If the conference committee report is acceptable to both chambers, the bill is enrolled, signed by both presiding officers in the presence of their respective chambers, and sent to the governor.

For more bad news, check out the House conferees:

Rep. Todd Smith (R) - Chair (512) 463-0522 - Smith represents the 92nd District (Bedford-Euless-Grand Prairie) and is the author of the original bill. Unfortunately, he's been named a "Fighter for Free Enterprise" by the Texas Association of Business, who have actively opposed the amendment language. Smith is also currently leading the charge against Tom Craddick.

Rep. John Davis (R) - (512) 463-0734 - 129th District (Clear Lake) - I don't know much about Davis, except he was sarcastically referred to as "furniture" by Texas Monthly and was investigated by the Texas Ethics Commission last year.

Rep. David Farabee (D) - (512) 463-0534 - 69th District (Wichita Falls) - Rep. Farabee co-authored HB 510, another bill covering health plan coverage for "mental disorders." That's one. Maybe.

Rep. Kelly Hancock (R) - (512) 463-0599 - 91st District (Ft. Worth) - Hancock, like Larry Taylor, is another Baylor grad on the Insurance Committee. A proponent of "family values" who voted against HB 1919 the first time it came up. No help there.

Rep. John T. Smithee (R) - (512) 463-0702 - 86th District (Amarillo) - Smithee's the Insurance Committee chair but has opposed several measures that would blatantly benefit the industry and let others die in committee. Could go either way, it would appear.

This is going to go down to the wire, it would appear. I'll update when the Senate's conferees are named. And how lovely that all of this is playing in the background to the mutiny against Craddick. Good times.

UPDATE: The Senate conferees include Van de Putte and Ellis, as well as Sen. Lucio, who authored the amendment. That's good news.

UPDATE (5/27): Damn, that was quick. The conference committee report has been filed and, as of 3:22 this morning, printed and distributed. The person who updates the Lege web site is probably getting some well-deserved rest following the craziness of the last week, which unfortunately means I have no idea what was determined in the committee. Stay tuned.

"Look at the size of that thing!"

[cross-posted for purposes of laziness expediency]

Anyone who's read my stuff for more than a couple months knows that the Star Wars franchise played an important part in my growing up. I have an entire Category devoted to it on both APCB and Blog 9, and I wrote The Star Wars Report on Film Threat in the weeks leading up to Revenge of the Sith, after all. The original trilogy framed my formative years, having seen the original when I was an impressionable eight years old and Return of the Jedi the day after 8th grade ended, marking the beginning of the end of my youthful idealism and my initial descent into cynicism and unpleasant reality.

A descent that the annoyingly Muppet-friendly Jedi helped instigate, now that I think about it.

I didn't see Star Wars opening day (and no, I refuse to call it A New Hope). Honestly, I think I was only dimly aware of it at the time. I remember seeing the preview on TV at some point and being intrigued by the fact that Bigfoot was flying a spaceship, but that was about it. My mother, however, knew something was up. She got me out of school early for a weekday matinée shortly after the movie opened (I don't know if Salt Lake City had one of the initial 30 theaters where it was released). We were two of maybe a dozen people in that theater in downtown Salt Lake City, and when we walked out into the street there was a line stretching for a quarter-mile.

I saw the original movie upwards of 20 times during its first run. I must have drawn a thousand pictures of TIE fighters and R2-D2 on manila paper in those first couple years. I bought Alan Dean Foster's Splinter of the Mind's Eye with money I stole from the change jar we used for bus fare (see how I repay your generosity, Mom?), and the novel's straight-up space fantasy goofiness is offset by the burgeoning romance between Luke and Leia that hindsight tells us is really freaking creepy. Like every other kid, I had the action figures, ships, playsets, and collectible cards. If George Lucas has anything to answer for (aside from Jar Jar, Hayden Christensen, or Greedo shooting first), it's how he single-handedly turned every sci-fi/fantasy release into a flood of product tie-ins.

The anniversary is being marked all over the internets. CNN has a retrospective, as do the BBC and a zillion other places. The 4th official Star Wars Celebration is going on this weekend in Los Angeles (And I just found out that Patrick Read Johnson's 5-25-77 is getting a sneak preview there as well), and Cinemax is airing all six movies in a row starting tomorrow.

For unofficial commemorating, you can always check out The Turkish Star Wars, Hardware Wars, or the legendary Star Wars Holiday Special. There's also this list of lines from the movie improved with the word "underpants" (my favorite: "You are unwise to lower your underpants").

Granted, the franchise took a decidedly unpleasant turn post-Empire Strikes Back, the last Star Wars movie I enjoyed without serious reservations, but the first two movies, and especially the original, will always be special to me. Star Wars kindled a lifelong love of movies, and - along with Robert E. Howard's Conan and Solomon Kane series, Doctor Who, and Star Trek - revved up my imagination for fantasy and science fiction. Lucas can be blamed for doing just about everything after 1980 wrong with his franchise, but I give him credit for that much.

But Jar Jar can choke to death on his own tongue.

Goodbye SB 419, hello HB 1919

Sorry I'm here begging for phone calls again, but it seems...tell you what, I'll let this e-mail I got from Sen. Lucio's office explain:

Unfortunately, like so many other good Senate bills, SB 419 was essentially "timed out" in the House and died. However, Senator Lucio was able to amend most of the language from SB 419 onto HB 1919 by Representative Todd Smith/Senator Leticia Van de Putte. HB 1919 requires specific treatment for individuals with traumatic brain injury. The Senate also amended language relating to mental health parity to HB 1919. Tomorrow, May 25th, the House of Representatives will decide whether or not to concur with these Senate amendments to HB 1919. Texas Association of Business and the Citizens Commission on Human Rights are both working hard to convince House members to oppose these amendments, so we have to work twice as hard to ensure members support them. We know there will be a few House members who will try to oppose the Senate amendments, but as long as we have a simple majority who support them, the current bill will remain intact with the early intervention amendments. We also have confirmation that Governor Perry will support the Senate amendments to HB 1919.

The best way for you to take action is to call your own State Representative and urge them to concur with Senate amendments to HB 1919. It would be helpful to explain to them why these amendments are important in terms of supporting Texas families and saving taxpayers money. Representative Smith's (HB 1919 author) office has been very good to work with and we do not recommend calling them at this time.

The final version of HB 1919 hasn't been updated on the House web site yet, so here's the relevant wording:

Sec. 1355.015. REQUIRED COVERAGE FOR CERTAIN CHILDREN. (a) At a minimum, a health benefit plan must provide coverage as provided by this section to an enrollee older than two years of age and younger than six years of age who is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. If an enrollee who is being treated for autism spectrum disorder becomes six years of age or older and continues to need treatment, this subsection does not preclude coverage of treatment and services described by Subsection (b).

(b) The health benefit plan must provide coverage under this section to the enrollee for all generally recognized services prescribed in relation to autism spectrum disorder by the enrollee's primary care physician in the treatment plan recommended by that physician. An individual providing treatment prescribed under this subsection must be a health care practitioner:

  (1) who is licensed, certified, or registered by an appropriate agency of this state;

  (2) whose professional credential is recognized and accepted by an appropriate agency of the United States; or

  (3) who is certified as a provider under the TRICARE military health system.

(c) For purposes of Subsection (b), "generally recognized services" may include services such as:

  (1) evaluation and assessment services;

  (2) applied behavior analysis;

  (3) behavior training and behavior management;

  (4) speech therapy;

  (5) occupational therapy;

  (6) physical therapy; or

  (7) medications or nutritional supplements used to address symptoms of autism spectrum disorder.

(d) Coverage under Subsection (b) may be subject to annual deductibles, copayments, and coinsurance that are consistent with annual deductibles, copayments, and coinsurance required for other coverage under the health benefit plan.

(e) Notwithstanding any other law, this section does not apply to a standard health benefit plan provided under Chapter 1507.

This is much better, because it looks like ABA is back on the table. Regardless of what I said last week, this really is the home stretch people. I know I've asked a lot, but please call your rep (find 'em here) and let them know you support the Senate amendments to HB 1919. Thank you.

"That's how I was raised, and I turned out TV."

It isn't that I've been watching more TV lately, I've just been really enjoying sitting on my ass and not moving or thinking. To wit:

+ I'd be a lot more inclined to enjoy The Tudors if Jonathan Rhys-Myers wasn't doing his best Joaquin Phoenix from Gladiator impersonation.

+ I missed last night's episode of The Shield, which means I missed the debut of Franka Potente, one of my many cinematic mistresses.

+ Wayne Rogers-era M*A*S*H is still funny.

+ The Heroes season finale is the only one I've watched this season, and it was far-fetched (Peter needed Nathan to fly him into the troposphere?), annoying (Sylar crawls into a fucking manhole?), and somewhat disappointing (Niki and Hiro comprise the epic team-up with Peter?). In short, it was just like a comic book.

I gave up on Lost and American Idol after their first seasons. And after Kelly Clarkson got all uppity.

+ I don't know what the Oxygen Network's mandate is, and I'm not sure of their stance regarding dropping a giant crucifix on a monster created through genetic experiments, but I found no small measure of satisfaction in watching Resident Evil: Apocalypse on the storied women's channel.

+ Many, many people have contributed money to send nuts to CBS to protest their cancellation of Jericho. This was to recognize Skeet Ulrich's character's "borrowing" General A.C. McAuliffe's use of the epithet "Nuts!" during the siege of Bastogne. As of this writing, almost five tons have been sent, which is testament not only to the colossal amount of time people apparently have to waste on this kind of meaningless bullshit, but also the utter lack of comprehension Americans have about the significance of the 101st Airborne's resistance.

And Skeet Ulrich sucks.

SB 419 - The Home Stretch

Okay, you guys are probably as sick of hearing about this as I am of writing about it, but by some strange confluence of events, SB 419 has been placed on the General House Calendar for Monday, May 21. I admit, I have mixed feelings about a bill that's been stripped of ABA, but in its current version it will still provide coverage for speech and occupational therapy. And until we can convince the likes of Rep. Larry Taylor that supporting insurance coverage for autism won't cost them their place in line at the Rapture, we'll need to jam the phones.

So in the spirit of "something is better than nothing," I'm asking once again for all Texas residents to call their representatives (look 'em up here if you haven't already) and tell them to support SB 419. E-mails and faxes are effective as well.

Thanks again.

UPDATE: The Galveston County Daily News has printed a couple of letters regarding SB 419 and Rep. Taylor's involvement. One of which is mine.

SB 419 Update - 5/17

Everyone's favorite Senate Bill, 419 (previously discussed here, here, and here), is currently languishing in Calendars. If it doesn't get out of there, it will die. At the least, the insurance industry gets to avoid covering even the relatively meager expenses for speech and occupational therapy. At the most, any chance of getting ABA put back in is lost for good.

I've listed the Calendars Committee membership below. I know I've already asked a lot, but if you're represented by any of the following people (hell, even if you aren't, it's a committee after all), please call them and ask them to put SB 419 on the calendar. It'll only take a couple of minutes.

Rep. Beverly Woolley - (512) 463-0696
Rep. Norma Chavez - (512) 463-0622
Rep. Dan Branch - (512) 463-0367
Rep. Myra Crownover - (512) 463-0582
Rep. Dawnna Dukes - (512) 463-0506
Rep. Gary Elkins - (512) 463-0722
Rep. Ryan Guillen - (512) 463-0416
Rep. Mike "Tuffy" Hamilton - (512) 463-0412
Rep, Larry Taylor...oh, never mind
Rep. Sylvester Turner - (512) 463-0554
Rep. Corbin Van Arsdale - (512) 463-0661

How convenient that Taylor is on both the committees that have screwed this bill. In any event, we won't know if we don't try, right?

Yeah.

See you in hell, Jerry

Of course, I don't believe in an afterlife. If I did, I'd hope Ray Wylie Hubbard was right.

In the meantime, what Susan Jacoby said:

Predictably, obituary writers are already portraying the Reverend Jerry Falwell as a more respectable figure than he was. Ah, what a beautiful tradition it is to speak no ill of the dead!

In the online edition of The New York Times, writer Peter Applebome observes that Falwell was "demonized on the left in much the same way Senator Edward M. Kennedy or Jane Fonda were on the right." The word "demonized" suggests that the well-meaning Falwell was treated unfairly by the left and that there ought to be a more balanced view of his so-called achievements.

How do you demonize a man who declared that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were evidence of God's judgment on a nation corrupted by civil libertarians and advocates of abortion and gay rights? Falwell demonized himself and followed up his sincere vitriol with the usual insincere public relations apology.

Jerry Falwell, by mobilizing the religious Right as a force for reactionary politics, played a vital long-term role in every retrograde social trend of the past thirty years. He and his Christian soldiers put George W. Bush in the White House.

This man's legacy is one of bigotry, xenophobia, anti-modernism, and utter stupidity. No doubt his funeral will be well-attended.

No doubt.

HB 1224/SB 419 Update - 5/14

The SB 419 committee report has been sent to Calendars, but hasn't shown up on the House schedule for the next two days (which is as far as the TLO site shows right now). Of course, that was almost a week ago and...well, we're trying to keep our hopes up.

Anyway, the Dallas Morning News printed my letter (it's the fifth one down). The Galveston County Daily News told me they were going to run it as well, but as of yet it hasn't shown up.

I sent the letter out in one form or another (200-250 words to papers that just take letters, 600-650 words to the ones that take guest editorials) to just about every major paper in the state. I'll probably start hitting the smaller ones tomorrow.

One thing I will say, the Daily News is apparently pretty keen on putting up letters related to this issue (I know because I've been informed by another person that the paper is printing theirs as well). Whether it has something to do with autism coverage itself or just thumbing their pinko noses at Rep. Taylor I couldn't begin to speculate. All I'm saying is, if you felt compelled to send them a letter, I certainly wouldn't object.

Art Carfunkel

Headed downtown with Sir Not Appearing In This Blog and our respective daughters yesterday for the Art Car Parade. I know there's been talk of corporate sponsorship ruining the spirit of the parade (which is funny coming from the newspaper of the city with the original Starbucks across from a Starbucks), but we still had a groovy time.

That said, it does seem like we get more and more cars each year. There were over 300 this time around, and some were rather half-assed. The good ones, however, were pretty damn good.

But first, I'm getting one of these:

That's a Cruzin Cooler: 500 watts, 13 MPH, and 24 12-oz cans of pure awesomeness.

Speaking of pure awesomeness, George Clinton was the Grand Marshal:

And then the parade really began. There were all manner of great cars - both classic Art Car standards and new entries - but there were a few I wanted to point out, including the Dancing Queen, the converted school bus that I feel certain would've been The Thing That Walks Like A Man's favorite entry:

Next up, one of my personal favorites. And all due respect to the Vroom Vroom Room (and the one picture I got of them was hopelessly blurry), but I really enjoyed the car made of Billy Bass and Rocky Lobsters synched up to sing opera:

I guess I'm just a hoosier at heart.

Finally, I had to point out what I thought was either a gross oversight or a joke in somewhat poor taste on the part of the organizers. To wit: the placement of the Jewish car behind the car for the Klein (Katy? Kincaid?) German Club van:

Okay, maybe I was the only one who noticed.

A fine time was had by all, and while there are - admittedly - a number of commercially sponsored entries (Starbucks, McDonald's, the Houston Chronicle), the Art Car Parade remains one of the few events in Houston that is free to attend and that allows people to bring a whatever food they like, lawn chairs and blankets, and a cooler of tall boys (*cough*). Try to do the same at any of the city's other festivals. Or an Astros or Texans game.

That's democracy for you

Taking a break from Lege-inspired indignation to remind all my Houston readers that there's an election today. As Chuck points out, turnout for this is expected to be extremely low (3-5%), so your vote (for Melissa Noriega, natch) counts more than ever.

HB 1224/SB 419 Update

Same shit, different bill.

First of all, I want to thank everybody for your support following last week's entry. The response has been - frankly - overwhelming, and it means a lot to all of us.

Unfortunately, things have progressed, and not exactly in the way we'd hoped.

HB 1224 is most likely dead in the water. This in itself isn't that horrible, because its companion - SB 419 - passed the Senate unanimously and was sent to the House. What is...disheartening (I'm trying to limit my profanity this time around, which won't be easy) is that it went to the Insurance Committee once again and, once again, it was amended by Rep. Larry Taylor, the insurance lobby's best friend.

I finally got a hold of someone from Rep. Taylor's office today, and - in between parroting the Republican line about insurance mandates being "bad for small business" - she actually suggested to me that the amended version of the bill was preferable, because it had "a better chance of passing the House."

"Really? A better chance than a bill that already passed the Senate unanimously?" I asked.

"We feel this version is better because it still offers coverage for occupational and speech therapy," Was the reply.

"Is Mr. Taylor aware that ABA is the most effective treatment for autistic spectrum disorders?"

"He is."

"...and he sincerely believes that removing it from the bill is better for the thousands of children in the state diagnosed on the autistic spectrum?"

"Mr. Vonder Haar, do you know how many insurance mandate bills are introduced every session?"

And so on. I won't reproduce the whole conversation, mostly because the remainder of is more of the same mealy-mouthed bilge couched in "fighting the good fight" rhetoric. Rep. Taylor is obviously sticking to his guns, for reasons that are known only to him and his lobbyist friends.

So now what? I also spoke to a very nice woman from the office of Sen. Eddie Lucio, Jr., who authored SB 419. She said they still want to push to get ABA back in, either by amending it on the floor of the House or in the joint conference committee. The latter seems like the more likely course of action, and the bill could still be killed if no agreement is reached.

I'm on a notification list for when the committee members are chosen, so expect another update pleading for phone calls when that happens. I don't like to keep shouting for us to storm the ramparts, because such exhortations become less effective over time.

What I will request is that people continue to register their displeasure with Rep. Taylor for his transparently self-serving actions, especially anyone in Friendswood, League City, Santa Fe, or other parts of Galveston County he represents.

As for our next course of action, we looked into taking out an ad in Chronicle, but I'm not sure what that would serve at this point. I've asked their editorial board to weigh in on the matter (if readers in Austin, Dallas, and San Antonio wanted to make the same request of their local newspapers, I wouldn't object), and am composing a "reader essay" on the subject myself.

I'll keep you posted, and again, thanks to everyone for their support.

Put ABA back in HB 1224

[This is an uncharacteristically long entry, and for that I apologize. I hope that by the end of it, if you last that long, you'll understand.]

HB 1224 - Relating to health benefit plan coverage for enrollees with autism spectrum disorder, passed out of the Insurance Committee in the Texas Legislature earlier this week, and the Committee report was sent to Calendars on Tuesday. The bill is a companion to SB 419, which passed the Senate floor unanimously, with one exception: HB 1224 came out of Committee with an amendment removing Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy from the list of services mandated for children aged 3-5.

ABA therapy as it pertains to children on the autistic spectrum involves teaching social and verbal skills to those not able to learn such things normally, which is to say through observation and imitation. In re-routing these learning pathways, the hope is to get the child back on course to mainstream life. It's intense - 20-40 hours a week of therapy in most cases, much of it one-on-one - and it's expensive, putting most college tuition structures to shame.

ABA is also effective. Half of children who have an early, intensive ABA program are able to function in normal schools with minimal or no support. It's considered the most effective early intervention for young children with autism, and has been recommended by the Surgeon General since 1987.

Finally, it mitigates the cost to the state, estimated at $3 million over an autistic person's lifetime, if they don't receive early intervention. Contrast this with the cost of a .5% increase in insurance premiums.

I'm asking every Texan reading this to call their representative (you can do a search here, calls are more effective than e-mails) and tell them you're concerned that HB 1224 passed out of the insurance committee with an amendment that removed Applied Behavior Analysis, and you want it put back in. You can cite the information I listed above, if you're so inclined.

And while you're at it, feel free to call Rep. Larry Taylor, who authored the amendment in question. His other contributions to the welfare of our state have included authoring a bill requiring elective courses for academic study of the Bible and joint authoring a bill providing for "Choose Life" license plates. After you've contacted your representative about putting ABA back in HB 1224 (especially any Friendswood or League City folks out there), maybe you could ask Rep. Taylor why someone who cares so much about children yet to be born apparently doesn't give a fuck about the welfare of those already here.

But then, I think we already know the answer to that.

[UPDATE: I left a message for Taylor's Chief of Staff to call me back with a reason for his authoring the amendment. You can also call him at 512-463-0729 (his Capitol office) or 281-338-0924 (District office). Or you can click here to send him an e-mail.

And according to his bio, he's an insurance agent. Quelle surprise.]

You may be asking why I care about this. Some of you already know, but for those who don't, I can give you two reasons. The first is that insuring Applied Behavior Analysis is the right thing to do. Autism is at epidemic levels in this country, with an estimated 1 in 150 children diagnosed on the spectrum. ABA is the only therapy proven to be consistently effective in treating it, and the fact that it isn't covered by insurance would be laughable if it wasn't so infuriating.

The second, more pragmatic reason, is that I'm the parent of a child on the autistic spectrum who is currently enrolled in an ABA program. For those who don't want to hear about that, you can stop reading now. If you're curious about my family's personal experience, carry on.

Okay, here goes.

About a year and a half ago, my wife and I noticed some disconcerting things about our daughter, coyly referred to as She Who Shall Not Be Named. At 18 months, she'd been able to count to 20 (and to 10 in Spanish), identify and name all the letters of the alphabet, point to and name just about every external body part, and had a vocabulary of close to 100 words. Some time around Halloween/Thanksgiving of 2005, however, we noticed she was becoming less and less vocal. She also began retreating more and more to her playroom and seemed like she wasn't hearing us when we tried to talk to her. Unsure if we were overreacting, we asked the director of SWSNBN's day care to observe her and tell us what she thought.

I'll cut to the chase, because you can probably figure out where I'm going and I still have a hard time writing it out without breaking down: we were told our daughter was most likely autistic. This was January of 2006, and thus kicked off what was - without qualification - the worst year of our lives. We met with SWSNBN's pediatrician, and also a pediatric neurologist, who in turn scheduled a hearing test to make sure she didn't need tubes (she didn't), an MRI to look for congenital brain malformations, an EEG to look for epileptic disorders, chromosome tests to look for things like Fragile X syndrome and Rett's, and something called the brainstem auditory evoked response test. Everything came back normal.

"Normal" is good, because it means she doesn't have something wholly incurable and/or lethal. It's also bad, because - absent a definable cause - SWSNBN will most likely get lumped in the Not Otherwise Specified bucket for pervasive development disorders. See, the PDD spectrum runs the gamut from classic autism - characterized by self-injurious behavior and retardation - to the higher functioning Asperger's. The "PDD-NOS" appellation, roughly translated, means the doctor can hedge his bets on a final diagnosis until she's older.

In the meantime, SWSNBN has worked with the State's Early Childhood Intervention program and attended the Developmental Building Blocks program at the Parish School, which specializes in children with language issues. She's also seeing a nutritionist, and is on a casein- and gluten-free diet. Before you scoff at that, I'll tell you that the improvements to her behavior and language after we took dairy out of her diet were dramatic and immediate.

Since September, she's also been enrolled in an ABA program. Her improvement since she started has been steady and, frankly, undeniable. Her receptive language and focus have improved, and she seems to have regained some of her interest in her books. Her teachers think she shouldn't have any problem "mainstreaming" into a regular school in the near future. She may always be a little weird, but that hardly makes her unique in our family.

The outlook in our case is relatively good, thanks in no small part to various factors weighing in our family's favor: we live in a city with some of the best medical facilities in the world, and one with easy access to organic foodstuffs. We also have plenty of family close by, and a number of great friends who have given us no end of support throughout this.

We can also pretty much afford everything. ABA therapy isn't cheap - think two mortgage payments a month (and not those wimpy second mortgages neither) - and like just about everything related to treating autism, it isn't covered by insurance. Sure, we were able to get the bulk of her tests paid for, but speech therapy? Occupational therapy? ABA? Not so much.

Which is what makes the amendment to HB 1224 so maddening. After all, if I was feeling a little down in the dumps, my health plan would cheerfully cover the cost of my happy pills. If I drunkenly jawed off to Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipović in a Zagreb bar and he broke my jaw, insurance would cover the emergency room visit and my subsequent weeks of pain meds. Hell, if I was an 80-year old man having trouble getting a goddamned hard-on, insurance would cover my boner pills, but therapy to help my daughter become a functional and productive member of society and not just another ward of the state after her parents die? We can apparently fuck right off.

So we're choosing to tell our daughter's story now, after being quiet about it for the last 16 months: to emphasize how important it is that this bill pass in its original form. If it seems opportunistic or self-serving, well...there's not much I can say about that, except that things like ABA and other therapy programs would seem to be the point of insurance: to insure the well-being of these kids who otherwise would be without hope for a future.

Finally, the only thing that really gave me pause about posting this was something that was said to me about the possibility SWSNBN might read this later on in her life and be mortified. My only response to that is this: I'm not a religious person, so prayer is out of the question, but I hope beyond anything I have ever hoped in my miserable life that my daughter, at some point in the future, is able to read this blog and yell at her father about it. I want that so badly it physically hurts.

Okay, that's all. Thanks for reading.

UPDATE: + Thanks to Chuck for the link.

+ Three Wise Men has (have?) also linked to this, thanks guys.

+ Perry mentions us in his entry about the Republicans' dismal record on the health and welfare of Texas children.

+ Thanks, Greg. And Melanie. And 'stina. And Carol.

To the out-of-staters commenting about contacting family members still in Texas, thank you. I appreciate it.

The passing of a titan

A titan in the office supply business, that is. Rest assured everyone in the Midstate Accountz Reeceevin' posse is pouring their latte on the curb today:

POYNETTE, WI--Foul play is suspected in the death of an accounts receivable supervisor for a regional office-supply company, sheriff's deputies reported Tuesday.

Herbert F. Kornfeld, 34, was an alleged accounting gang leader considered by law enforcement to be a key player in a series of ongoing office worker turf wars. He was found dead Monday morning in the third-floor copy room of Midstate Office Supply, his employer of 12 years.

"We believe the victim was assaulted after hours Friday by an unknown individual or individuals," a Columbia County sheriff's departmaent spokesman said. "Though autopsy results are still pending, we believe the victim suffered fatal head trauma after his face was immobilized against the glass of a photocopier and repeatedly struck with the machine's cover."

Midstate Office Supply vice-president Howard Dinwiddie is expected this week to name accounts receivable assistant Irving Weinbaum, 23, as Kornfeld's successor.

Weinbaum, eh? Don't think this is the last we'll hear of this suspicious crime, especially considering Kornfeld's own comments from less than a week ago:

Everythang fallin' 2 shit, know what I'm sayin'? Check it out: Not only tha A.P. out foe blood, now tha new breed o' A.R. punks be fuckin' up everythang they ol' school foefatherz worked foe. They ain't got no respect foe tha traditions o' tha past. They just clockpunchin' hos afta tha office chedda. Some-a them be comin' outta bidness college thinkin' they can round up 2 tha nearest dolla. No lie. Wack-ass wannabes.

Ain't nobody moe wack than Irving Weinbaum, Gary's replacement. I'd fire his ass wit' a quickness, but tha comptrolla Gerald Luckenbill say he one-a tha few A.R. peeps not doin' time right now an' we needs him. Hell, I don't needs him.

Go gently, H-Dog.

1973 - 2007

"It turns me upside down"

"Summer, summer, summer
It's like a merry-go-round."

I use these classic Cars lyrics to mark the Ocasekion (heh) of Film Threat's Summer 2007 Movie Preview. It's got trailers of the YouTube variety, tiresome sarcastic commentary, and...more trailers.

I'm not the only one on the byline, but if you're confused about which of us wrote what, I'll invoke my standard personal rule of thumb regarding multiple authors: if it's funny, I wrote it.