A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

"Nobody can eat fifty eggs."

DSL isn't hooked up at our apartment yet, so I'm only three days late in commenting - via cell phone - on Paul Newman's death:

Newman attained stardom in the 1950s and never lost the movie-star aura, appearing in such classic films as "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "Exodus," "The Hustler," "Cool Hand Luke," "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "The Sting" and "The Verdict."

He finally won an Oscar in 1986 -- on his eighth try -- for "The Color of Money," a sequel to "The Hustler." He later received two more Oscar nominations. Among his other awards was the Motion Picture Academy's Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.

"Paul took advantage of what life offered him, and while personally reluctant to acknowledge that he was doing anything special, he forever changed the lives of many with his generosity, humor, and humanness," said Robert Forrester, vice chairman of the actor's Newman's Own Foundation. "His legacy lives on in the charities he supported and the Hole in the Wall Camps, for which he cared so much."
[...]
A portrayal as a race-car driver in 1969's "Winning" led to his actual competition in races; at 70, he participated in the 24 Hours of Daytona and he was still racing at age 80.

He stumped for liberal causes, including Eugene McCarthy's 1968 presidential candidacy, and earned a spot on Richard Nixon's enemies list -- "the highest single honor I've ever received," he said.

In 1982, Newman and his friend A.E. Hotchner founded Newman's Own, a food company that produced food ranging from pasta sauces to salad dressing to chocolate chip cookies.

"The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films," Newman once wryly noted.

To date, the company -- which donates all profits to charities such as Newman's Hole in the Wall camps -- has given away more than $200 million. Newman established the camp to benefit gravely ill children.

Newman's body of work looks like you cherry-picked my top 50 movies list: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sting, The Hustler, Slap Shot, The Verdict...even in lousy flicks (When Time Ran Out or HWRNMNBSOL's favorite, The Towering Inferno) he was an exceptional talent, a fact unobscured by his belated "lifetime acheivement" Academy Award.

As the greats of music and moviedom continue to pass on, I keep wondering who's going to step in and fill their shoes. Is there any actor working today who's even close to the full package - artist, activist, philanthropist - that Newman was? In 40 years, is anyone going to look back on the life of Brad Pitt or George Clooney with the same mixture of sorrow and admiration?

Anyone besides US Magazine, I mean.

RIP Reggie.

In Valhalla there is no beer

Via Hair Balls, which I am poised to make my triumphant return to Real Soon Now, comes this disturbing tidbit from Rice's Thresher:

Valhalla, Rice's graduate student pub, is closed indefinitely because of noncompliance with the dry campus policy that took effect during Hurricane Ike. Rice University Police Department Sergeant Carla Barnette said the pub violated alcohol restrictions that applied to the entire campus, which includes all graduate student institutions.

Valhalla manager David Fortunato said he could not comment on the matter, but that the official story was that the pub was closed for renovation.

The no-alcohol mandate began last Friday in preparation for Hurricane Ike and ended at noon Monday. The case is currently under review by the university, and the pub will remain closed until further notice, Barnette said.

I like to think Fortunato at some point cried, "For the love of god, Leebron!"* But it doesn't really work.

I only drank at Valhalla a few times. The most memorable, for me, was when I was accompanied by The Wife and several of her friends. Their presence raised the male:female ratio to about 40:4, which made for an amusing evening.

* As in, Rice Universtity President David Leebron

So that's where all the talent went

CD Baby really makes you feel good about yourself:

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow. A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing. Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, September 26th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did.
Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The CD in question? "Shades of Violet" by a young woman with a decidedly familiar last name. Her music is a little more...acoustic than what I customarily listen to, but I figure if I do this maybe she'll buy my book. Whenever it comes out.

And she does a wicked cover of Joni Mitchell's "River," once you get past a few minutes of annoying interviewer:

Angry Beavers

Little did I know, as I fled the house apartment last night to hang out with Sir Not Appearing On This Blog (and to avoid the 2-hour Grey's Anatomy premiere) that I'd be witness to one of the most satisfying college football upsets of all time:

It had been 41 years since Oregon State knocked off a No. 1 team.

Freshman Jacquizz Rodgers helped the Beavers pull off another stunner -- and Southern California was the victim again.

Rodgers ran for 186 yards and two touchdowns, and Oregon State built a 21-point first-half lead before capitalizing on a late turnover and upsetting the Trojans 27-21 on Thursday night.

Beavers fans, clad in orange, rushed the field when the clock ran out after the 25-point underdogs shook up college football with a victory over the team that was expected to roll right through its conference straight to the national championship game.

"I think we made a statement, like we can come out and beat anybody on any given day. It's not always the best team that wins on a day. It's who plays hard," Rodgers said.

In that case, Oregon State probably should've played a little harder against Stanford and Penn State. They might be 4-0 or 3-1 instead of 2-2.

Rodgers was unstoppable, in spite of the fact the USC defenders were headhunting him on every tackle. Pete Carroll probably upped the bounty to $25,000 at halftime and he still ended up with almost 200 yards.

I love it when the #1 team loses early on (and it's even sweeter when it's USC). The field's pretty wide open now, though I fully expect the sports media to swing over to other coast and start singing the praises of Georgia and Florida, possible even leapfrogging UGA over Oklahoma. Though in all honesty, I see them losing to Alabama tomorrow, with four Big 12 teams in the top 10 next week.

Assuming an OU win over TCU, which is far from a given.

As an aside (and since it's apparently a popular topic), I'll just point out that my fantasy football team is 3-0 despite carrying Derek Anderson and Steve Jackson on the roster (the former on the bench for all three games). My visionary drafting of ATL running back Michael Turner and my annoying habit of swapping out kickers and D/STs every week has borne the succulent fruit of victory. Hell, I might make these updates a weekly feature here.

Et tu, Jorge?

As if the events of the preceding weeks weren't enough, the one possible bright spot in this shitty month was making it to the championship game in my fantasy baseball league this last Sunday. Riding a powerhouse lineup consisting of (among others) Josh Hamilton, Chase Utley, Jose Reyes, and Brandon Webb, I had cruised to a 16-8 record and was set to take my place in the fantasy firmament against a dude I'd already beaten twice during the season.

Unfortunately, not even bravura performances by Kevin Kouzmanoff and Brad Lidge (yes, that Brad Lidge) good stave off my opponent. I blame Jon Lester and Edison Volquez - who admirably shit the bed in their respective starts - and myself, who neglected to start Jorge Cantu at 1B ahead of Aubrey Huff. Cantu had 74 points, Huff had 18.5. The result?

I won't comment on the additional ignominy that comes from losing to a guy who names his team "Teabag."

The continuing saga

As The Wife said when perusing my mother's list of TiVo recording, "Awesome; she likes the same crappy TV shows I do." In many ways, we're lucky to have been able to spend the last week of Ike exile up in Bryan where there's ample power, fuel, and satellite TV. On the other hand, I got to watch the season finale of The Closer. Twice.

Oh shut up, Pete...what of The House?

True to their word, the crew brought in by our insurance company had the trees cleared out and the roof covered by Thursday morning.

I forgot to ask the guys to save one of the bigger chunks for folks to have something in my backyard to urinate on during cookouts.

It's probably a good thing our neighborhood isn't supposed to get power back until next week, since two of the three connections on the now low-hanging service drop were pulled out of the weatherhead. I'd reattach them myself, except...

I don't think getting electricity back is going to make much of a difference at our house, air conditioning-wise.

Gig 'em

Being a Longhorn alum, I'm more or less sworn never to cheer for Texas A&M unless they play someone I hate even more (Oklahoma, and even then, it depends on who's a bigger threat in the conference). I suppose I'd pull for the Aggies if they ever *snerk* made it to the BCS title game, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Like, way ahead of ourselves.

However, I think that right now I have no problem rooting for them today as they play the fucking Hurricanes. No sir, no problem at all.

EDIT: Couldn't even pull that one off for me, eh? Ingrates.

And now, an interlude

Fuck Kid Rock.

In the mostly internet-free days since hurricane Ike used my house as a condom, I've been listening to a lot more radio. And in addition to the realization that the state of Florida is single-handedly keeping the classic rock industry alive, I've decided that Kid Rock is just about the worst human being on the planet.

I dared to hope he'd disappear after that unfortunate period in our nation's history several years ago, when legions of proto-mulletheads did the lame, early-21st century equivalent of the mosh to his soulless thud-core. That, for a number of reasons (a romance with Pam Anderson, the dunderheadedness of the American population) didn't happen. And now I learn that "All Summer Long," his newest cut from Rock N Roll Jesus that happens to sample Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" and Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama," has become his biggest hit.

Sorry, did I say "sample?" I should have said "burgle." See, sampling is the act of using a portion of a break or beat to construct a new tune, recognizable yet unto itself as a musical entity. Kid Rock, on the other hand, appropriates entire stanzas around which to drape his bland, "Jack and Diane"-esque lyrics. "All Summer Long's" entire opening is a repeat of "Werewolves," after which it invokes "Alabama," leading to a wholesale theft of that song's most famous riff. That isn't sampling, a la the Beastie Boys or Dr. Dre, that's some Vanilla Ice shit.

A lot of what we have to put up with in life is out of our control. Got a tree in my house? Fine. Sprained my ankle Labor Day weekend? Whatever. Grandmother passed away? Death is inevitable. But by god, I don;t have to put up with listening to the Motor City Moron shit up my airwaves for another second.

He's not pining

Got back yesterday. Given the photographic evidence from Galveston, Bolivar, and our own home, I was a little annoyed at the lack of wholesale destruction here in town. Oh sure, I'm happy all of you were able to escape severe property damage, but jeez...not a downed fence, busted windowpane, or toppled mailbox among you, it seems. That's...that's great.

Luckily, our insurance company kicks ass. They had a crew out taking care of the trees today, and the roof should be covered up tomorrow. We have a meeting scheduled with the general contractor and some other adjusters to get the ball rolling on rebuilding the east side of our house and filing claims on our lost contents. Then again, we'll probably be in an apartment for the next few months, and - I have to admit - that the act of signing the paperwork to put my family back into a fucking rental property is about the most depressing part of this whole ordeal. I know we have it better than many folks, but the prospect of sharing a wall with complete strangers again is kind of a bummer.

And I'll just bet they're hardasses about public nudity.

But enough of that, time for more pictures:

This is an admittedly shitty shot of SWSNBN's room. All that crap in the middle of the pic is sitting on her bed. The only real consensus The Wife and I could reach was, "Well, she might have survived." It's the kind of thing you say when you feel the shakes coming on.

Of course, our own room had some violations of its own. One neighbor called this the "Damien shot. We discussed the likelihood I might have been standing in the branch's path as it plunged through our ceiling and what, if any, implications my apparent disfavor in the eyes of god might have presented for our new Pope. I theorized that the Pontiff would mislead and obfuscate behind a cover of storm-induced confusion. My neighbor countered that he'd most likely have me killed.

Not pictured, my beloved cow skull (which The Wife got for me on a trip to Mexico). It was knocked off the wall of the office by the tree's landing. Honestly, of all the stuff I found myself writing off on the insurance list, the skull and the RCA TV (which my dad bought me for my birthday in 1990) upset me the most. I guess I'm not too troubled by the loss of 60% of my wardrobe.

Finally, for those of you with a taste for the Lovecraftian. This is an overhead shot of the eldritch thing lurking over the back of my house. I can't decide between The Shadow Over Garden Oaks or The Doom That Came to SE Texas.

Our neighbors have been great, by the way. We showed up yesterday afternoon and within 30 minutes, over a dozen had come over to express their condolences/sympathy/half-embarrassed exclamations of awe. They're going to keep an eye on things while we get stuff sorted and try to figure out how to get insurance to pay for a new pool.

On the other hand, it took about an hour for me to get sick of the fucking gawkers. I realize that seeing a 90-foot pine at rest in someone's house isn't an everday occurence, but if you're going to slow down your SUV to take a picture of it while I'm in the goddamn yard clearing branches, feel free to throw me a ten-spot in appreciation for the free entertainment you're going to get posting my house on your favorite message board.

UPDATE: Oh, and a few of you expressed concern for Ripley (the feline hybrid of Mr. Bean and White Goodman from Dodgeball). She sheltered in place at Bed & Buscuits, which never lost power. I picked her up Tuesday and was told by the attendant, "She's very...vocal."

Yeah, that's one word for it.

"Look, Daddy...Todd is stupid and I'm with him!"

Not much new to report. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts.

We're still stuck in Florida. Southwest tells me they ought to be flying a limited schedule tomorrow and that our flight should be a go. Once there, we have a tentative appointment with our insurance person and then - since The Wife's office is closed all week - we'll probably head up to my mom's place in Bryan where I can do some work on her DSL. We'll reevalute our situation once the power's back on and we find out whether or not our house is "habitable."

So that's about it. I guess we're going to spend our last day here heading up to Clearwater Beach and trying to recharge our batteries for what's going to be an ass-tastic couple of months. Looking forward to getting together with y'all and having a few drinks in the coming weeks.

Oh, did I mention I saw Hulk Hogan yesterday? Believe it, brother.

"There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees"

Checked in with most of our friends this morning. Happily, just about all of them reported nothing more severe than some limbs down and power outages.* Good news all around, yes?

Then some folks went to check on our place. The news was...not so good.

That big-ass tree leaning over is a 60-year old pine (right next to a charming brick well) that, until last night, was perched majestically in our front yard.

Wait, there's more...

Note the intricate and pervasive root system. What this means, to those of you ignorant of the finer botanical nuances, is that one tree so intertwined will tend to take down those in close proximity should it fall.

This is a side view. Note how the original window (with a pane replaced by yours truly following Rita) held together in spite of coniferous intrusion.

Finally, here's what I call the Money Shot:

That's my daughter's room. The reason I can write about this with such jocularity right now is because she wasn't in that room at the time.

Oh sure, you say, chances are she'd have been in the master bedroom in the back with The Wife. Much safer, yes?

That back corner is the master bedroom.

I'm not looking forward to dealing with insurance companies, contractors, and builders for the next six months, but my family's safe. I can laugh off the impending house woes every time I kiss SWSNBN good night here in our hotel room. One thing we've learned from the last couple years is; shit can always get worse. It's going to take more than a tree sitting in our house to throw us off. So once again, fuck you Ike.

Though if anybody had some non-Gulf Coast job prospects they wanted to lob my way, I'd be all ears.

*The Thing That Walks Like a Man, being the contrarian bastard he is, has a rather severe crack in one wall (thanks to a tree falling on a window unit A/C) and some rather unpleasant wiring issues.

"Why don't we do something to take our minds off the storm?"

"Ooh, a Rubik's Cube!"

The Wife and SWSNBN made it here last night. We spent pretty much all of today alternating between walking the beach, swimming in the pool, and napping (thanks to the several maragaritas consumed at lunch). All in all, not too bad a vacation, as long as you don't consider what's going on back home.

As of 9 PM CST on Friday, power was still on at our house. I don't expect that to continue, and I wouldn't be surprised if we extended our vacation a few days to give the necessary personnel in Houston time to start getting things taken care of.

Thanks again to everyone who's commented/e-mailed/called/texted to make sure we're okay. We are. Our thoughts are with everybody still in the Houston metro area, and we hope y'all stay safe.

I try not to watch CNN and the Weather Channel, but my hurricane compulsion usually wins out. I keep seeing footage of the fishing pier and the Flagship and Gaido's and hoping everybody on the island is okay. I hope those giant pines in our yard hold up. I hope nobody floods. I hope, I hope.

It's gonna be a long night for everyone. Take care. Catch you on the flipside.

crIKEy

I'm starting to get sick of living on the fucking Gulf Coast, frankly:

Hurricane Ike's turn toward the Houston area spurred emergency officials this morning to call for a mandatory evacuation of residents in areas that will be subject to a massive storm surge.

Galveston Mayor Lyda Ann Thomas also expanded the evacuation order there to cover the entire island. In addition, Chambers County, which had initially ordered only the evacuation of low-lying businesses and homes, this morning ordered the entire county to evacuate by noon, and a voluntary evacuation has been called for in Liberty County.

Harris County Judge Ed Emmett called for mandatory evacuations of low-lying areas starting at noon today. Those residents are in evacuation zones A and B, specifically ZIP codes 77058, 77059, 77062, 77520, 77546, 77571, 77586 and 77598.

Emmett asked all other Harris County residents to prepare to shelter in place, saying residents whose homes could be inundated by storm surges needed time and room to get to safety.

In an ironically fortuitous turn of events, we made vacation plans to go to Tampa to visit my grandmother this weekend about six months ago. I'm posting this from Belleair Beach, as it happens, so sometimes timing works out in my favor. However, to add more bad news to this weekend, my mother and I actually bumped our flights up to last night because my grandmom had taken a turn for the worse. Unfortunately, she passed away before we could get here.

I'll have a more fitting post about her later. Right now, I'm anxiously awaiting the call from The Wife that she and SWSNBN have made their flight out. After that, I plan on spending a good chunk of the coming weekend sitting on a deck chair with a drink, watching the surf and the pelicans, and trying not to think about what Ike is doing to my house.

To all my friends in Houston, whether you're sheltering in place or bugging out, please be safe.

And if someone wanted to drive by our place on Sunday morning and let me know if I need to extend our stay here, that'd be cool too.

"Oh boys...look what I got heah!"

"Hey, where de white wimmen at?"

U.S. Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on Tuesday brushed aside a survey that showed him losing support among white women voters to John McCain since the Republican standard-bearer named Sarah Palin as his running mate.

A Washington Post/ABC News survey published on Tuesday found most of McCain's surge in the polls since the Republican National Convention was due to a big shift in support among white women voters.
[...]
Before the Democratic National Convention in late August, Obama held an 8-point lead among white women voters, 50 percent to 42 percent, according to the Washington Post/ABC News poll. After the Republican convention in early September, McCain was ahead by 12 points among white women, 53 percent to 41 percent, that survey found.

Look, I love white women. At least...75% of the people I've dated in my life have been white women. Hell, I even married one. Which is why this poll has to be either a) complete bullshit, b) clearly biased against hip, urban professionals who don't have landlines, or c) only counting those women who don't care that the VP half of the Republican ticket vetoed support for alternative energy, slashed funding that would support teen mothers not named "Bristol," and was in favor of charging rape victims for their forensic exams.

I admit, my circle of friends isn't layered enough to include (that I know of) any women who actually like Palin. So could one of my white female readers out there enlighten me as to what the fuck is going on?

"Dad, there are other wipes besides star wipes."

I'd never heard of Charlie Brooker until last weekend, when I saw his BBC review show Screenwipe for the first time, and now I want his job. Here he is eviscerating My Super Sweet 16:

It doesn't hurt that the English have some of the best insults.

Fortunately for whining snotface, the party goes with a bang: she enters looking every inch the cosseted flesh-waste she is, and she and her nauseating idiot scumbag friends party on into the night, dancing, shrieking, acting like pillocks, and generally making you feel like getting down on your knees and praying for a nuclear holocaust.

Sketches of McCain

My first thought on John McCain's speech was, "Whoa, he was a POW?" The second was, "Did nobody think to hire someone other than the guy who did the MIDI soundtrack to Diablo for that opening movie?"

I feel kind of bad for McCain, in all honesty. I don't know that I'd ever have voted for the guy - even in 2000 he had the baggage of the Keating scandal and positions in opposition to mine on gay rights, education, privatization of Social Security, and so on - but he seemed sincere in his convictions about following his conscience. Now, he's like a guy backed into a corner by party machinery. McCain wasn't the ideal Republican candidate...unless you held him up against the Two-Faced Mormon, the 9-11 Guy Who Actually Had Some Socially Liberal Views, and the Former Preacher Who Won Iowa and Couldn't Figure Out What to Do Next. And while he can accuse Obama of the whole "lose a war to win an election" angle, McCain already surrendered his "maverick" views to win this particular contest. The Palin choice proves that.

All that said, it was a pretty lackluster speech. I thought he took the high road and tried to lay out his plans (he was obviously annoyed early on by the protesters) but the folks in the Xcel Center wanted blood. He gave them a measured laying out of his policy, and they wanted him to unleash - as Yngwie Malmsteen would say - the fucking fury. McCain's problem isn't that he can't articulate his views, it's that he isn't giving his audience what they want.

As for the oft-courted independents, I suspect they'd have more respect for the guy if he hadn't subordinated every policy position to the Religious Right. More than that, what he did say was unmemorable. Even the audience seemed hesitant to applaud.

Bonus points for playing "Barracuda" at the end, however.

Thinking of the children

I'd have posted about the prime-time RNC speeches earlier, but I just stopped coughing up blood. First we had Giuliani, bringing up 9-11 a mere half a dozen times while standing in front of a stirring NYC skyline in a speech Molly Ivins probably would've found better in the original German. Then came Alaska governor Sarah Palin.

It wasn't enough that she lied about her resistance to Ted Stevens' "Bridge to Nowhere," about raising taxes, and about "standing up to the oil companies" while governor - though I enjoyed the fact that both Giuliani's new wife and Cindy McCain both rose to applaud when she pointed out to the family values crowd that she was still married to her high school sweetheart. No, the best joke of the night was this line:

To the families of special-needs children all across this country, I have a message: For years, you sought to make America a more welcoming place for your sons and daughters. I pledge to you that if we are elected, you will have a friend and advocate in the White House.

Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it: Sarah Palin is going to single-handedly roll back decades of Republican disregard for child welfare and education. She's going to buck her party and urge insurance companies to increase - or even offer - coverage for speech, occupational, and autism therapies (all of which are valid treatments for those with "special needs"). She's going to tell the Republican leadership they've been wrong all these years in eroding aid to poor families and providing taxpayer money to "faith-based" organizations that won't offer their services without attempting to convert the who receive them.

Even better, she's apparently going to - wait for it - reverse her own position she held as Governor, when she slashed funding for special needs schools by 62%.

As a parent of a "special needs" child who has spent the last (almost) three years dealing with the legacy of the Republican party's utter failure to provide for the children of this state, I look forward to this 180 degree reversal in her party's doctrine, and eagerly await the arrival of this sincere, well-qualified candidate to the second-highest office in the land.

And if you believe that, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you. In Ketchikan, Alaska.

EDIT: I hadn't seen the Washington Monthly retraction noting the 62% reduction was incorrect, so while there's still plenty to get on her case about, her eucation budget isn't one of them.

Hello Balls - 9/2/08

You know the drill by now, I write stuff for Hair Balls - the Houston Press' blog - and then link them here to keep from having to come up with more verbiage about what an awful human being Joe Lieberman is.

Most recent entries are listed first.

Top Five Houstonians as Hurricanes (8/29/2008)
The Top Five Ballsiest Actors from Texas (8/27/2008) - A bit misleading, as it's actually the ballsiest "moves" by Texas-based actors, but whatever
Texas Horror Movies: The Top Five (8/18/2008)
Houston Sports Movies: The Top Five (8/14/2008)
Chuck Norris Reaches Out And Touches: The Top Five (8/11/2008)
It's Freaking Hot - So Watch Some Cold Movies (8/7/2008)
Movies For Your Hurricane Party Tonight (8/4/2008)
A Wish List for Austin's Movie Memorabilia Sale (7/31/2008)
Hollywood Destroys Houston: The Top Five (7/30/2008)
Houston as a Movie Stand-In: The Top Five (7/22/2008)

Way to spin that "abstinence only" education stance

Some key quotes:

"Sen. McCain knew this and felt in no way did it disqualify her from being vice president," said an aide who asked not to be named. "Families have difficulties sometimes and lucky for her she has a supportive family."

The McCain aide emphasized that Bristol decided to keep the baby, a decision "supported by her parents."

and

"I have a 17-year-old daughter, and they start making choices without us," said Annette Ratliff, a delegate from Texas. "I appreciate the choice she is making to have the baby, but it just makes her a real person. It happens every day in America."

and

"I think, if anything, it shows the Republican Party is a real American party," said Rex Teter, another Texas delegate. "Every family has to deal with children, and sometimes children make decisions that parents wish they would not have been made, and things happen. But I think children are a blessing from God."

"Bristol decided." "I appreciate the choice she is making to have the baby." "...sometimes children make decisions..."

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm really enthused about the Republican party's new pro-choice stance.